august raindrops scattered the deep orange glow
of streetlights ‘cross the pavement as mist rose
up & clung hard to the heavy tree boughs.
this is when he chose to edge in too close
to the girl who’d scribble poems she’d never
let him read, while he strummed his guitar to
play love songs that weren’t really about her,
though that august night she was the one who
traced small circles ‘cross his back, merging beads
of sweat into wet strands while the bed sheet
clung to their bodies. they ignored the deeds
they did in that dark room of stagnant heat.
running her fingers thru his hair, she failed
to notice the shit getting in her nails.
Author notes
this was for my poetry class. the assignment was to write a love (or hate) shakespearean sonnet, using no abstractions. yes, it is in iambic pentameter. yes, it is (mostly) in the strict rhyme scheme. yes, this is something i've never done before & therefore it was very, very difficult with me.
A contest entry
- Come along AP Poets, Time to Win!! by GloriousGift.
525 points, ended March 17, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes! I want your best! by urapns66.
375 points, ended April 23, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Sonnet Experiment by ArchOblivion.
1100 points, ended October 2, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i just want to know what people think, etc... i love input & will graciously repay the favor if you'd like input on your writing
Comments
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It's a very good form and you pulled it off well. I really liked this because of the ending couplet. To be honest it confused me. I'm usually not so careless at picking up meanings but through all the passion and pretty imagery the ending kinda left me with a "...what the heck happened" hehe which i really liked. What a twist. Great read! Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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nice write! keep it up! I really liked this one! good luck in all of your contests...and you're always welcomed to come read my stuff if you want haha...you don't have to though lol, good luck again
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I think you did a great job here. Very nicely written. You did a great job. I enjoyed the read very much.
Kelli
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