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Cardinal


Majesty in red
The king is at the feeder
All others shall watch








A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lyndon gold member
    March 1, 2008

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    A poetic idea

    from a natural phenomenon. Fine poem.
    Thank you for this entry, friend.


  • Melodies
    February 26, 2008

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    I am delighted by the idea of a dominant bird. Well said, a haiku that sends a fine image into my mind.


  • paullallady silver member
    February 20, 2008

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    wow, what wonderful imagery you have
    created with the wonderful cardinal
    as the king, which he definately is.
    great job on this and good luck in
    the contest.


  • myron silver member
    February 19, 2008

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    haiku

    This haiku is ok, but it could be better for a number of reasons.

    A haiku works best when it concentrates on what the poet sees, rather than what the poem thinks or believes. Your first line is a judgement and generally good haiku don't use opinions.

    Also a haiku works best when iot follows the traditional way of having just one break in the grammar. your example has two.


  • poetryality silver member
    February 19, 2008

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    I've seen this in my neighbors yard. Did you know that the male of the species is prettier? Go figure! LOL

    You've painted a beautiful scene with your pen. Now, this is the kind of haiku I'm familiar with.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • Kelli Marie
    February 19, 2008

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    This is a wonderfully written haiku. I think you did the form well. I wish you luck in the contest. good job.
    Kelli

1 - 6 of 6