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Out of tune

Fingers tormented by time as they
tiptoe through struggling air.
Running from pain carried in high pitches
as they
skim keys like rocks on water.
Tears drop like notes as her thoughts
cry out in acappella.
Pulsating skin becomes the melody attained
as
tips memorize the awakening of dreams,
as they struggle to play the song of
new beginnings.



A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • macandrew
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Another wonderful poem. You have a light and pleasurable touch with your vocabulary.

    A treat.
    John

  • Dalaney gold member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is full of melancholy...I think you have created a wonderful piece for this contest. It was a pleasure to read, and so hauntingly beautiful...Love, Lane


  • poeticweaver gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    Wow, Amazing!

    Very vivid, the imagery and metaphors are potent!
    Love the way this reads, it captivated me.
    Thanks for sharing you, peace, and lots of light~

    -Timothy aka poeticweaver~ x

  • nothinghere silver member
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful hun, I love this picture, wrote for it myself, it is just so soft and your write matches it so perfectly, well done honey, goodluck in the contest

    Karen


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    "Tears drop like notes as her thoughts
    cry out in acappella."


    Nice Layne, very nice! I'll be surprised if this does not win bronze or better.


  • moluv10
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent wordplay allows this reader to actually see what the writer sees in the picture! Brilliant job Layne! "pulsating skin becomes the melody attained as tips memorize theawakening of dreams, as they struggle to play the song of new beginnings." Love those lines. You continually impress me with your skills. best of luck in the contest.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    February 19

    Edit | Reply

    it's funny...

    ...you titled this out of tune, and yet i get beautiful music playing in my ears from the lovely imagery created in my mind! good job homegirl!


  • WiseWithWordz
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    nice feel to this...love the play on words. "fingers tormented by time as they tiptoe through struggling air..." wow what images that's convayed here! the flow is mesmerizing. loved it!


  • Kelli Marie
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent write. Love the beautiful imagery. It carries a bit of pain, but is very well written. I hope it does well in the contest.
    Kelli
1 - 10 of 10