I wrote a letter for you today
with my eraser
I used white-out on the things I had to say
I drew a blank with a permanent marker
and I couldn't seem to change the color
of my shades of gray
the crumbled up papers on the floor are empty
the noise of silence is crashing through my ears
white space is all that surrounds me
as the angry blue lines on my paper I fear...
A contest entry
- immeasurable. by girl shaman.
1150 points, ended February 24, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - More Points Added. PW accepted....Writer's Block-a contest.. by JinSays.
950 points, ended April 20, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Anything Goes by Gibson.
800 points, ended May 9, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! II by Nam.
1750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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The beginning's a tad repetitious in the first 3 lines of saying the same thing but since it's a short poem, it works okay. A nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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I liked this write too. A lot. I noticed that in the comments, some really liked it, and some didn't. I tend to shy away from commenting on comments, and concentrate on the write...so with that in mind,
I loved every single line too, except the end. I think the end is weak, when compared to the body of the rest of it. I feel a little cheated, isn't that silly?
I think this write can be much more than it is. You followed the rules though, you stayed on target, and you put yourself in my shoes. Thank you fo taking the time nd effort to try and help me. Also,
Thank you for this entry, and best wishes to you,
Jin -
I thought to highlight my favorite lines and paste them here as my simple tribute to them, but then realized I'd have to put the whole thing. I LOVE this poem, sincerly love it, I enjoyed each line. The most intimidating thing in the world sometimes is a blank sheet of paper. The words you used were effective and dazzling! Well done indeed!
* Never mind any gross spelling errors above lol *
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Interesting write I like it though
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Then ending... blah. Change it pleaase!! i think that you have it in you to make it better. It just kind of ended. Well, I did enjoy the poem nonetheless. Keep up the beautiful job.
Dani
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interesting. I liked it, but I agree with 'Fantastical'. I don't like the ending. But other than that it was good.
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I'm not sure I liked the ending
I wish you continued more with the way you began it, with the playing with words...the irony of "white out on the things I had to say"
I think you made it a little short, ended it a little too abruptly
If you expanded more on this, it would be terrific.
I really like it though, but it feels abandoned, in a sense.
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it was actually a good thing you kept from rhyming too much; that i appreicate.
as for the poem itself i think the topic was well expressed; could have been added more to but either way it was really blunt what you were trying to say and i liked that
thank you for entering 
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thank you, I appreciate the comment.
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I tell ya, I can relate to that silence being so noisy. This is a very creative write. I enjoyed it very much. good luck in the contest.
Kelli -
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I'm glad you can relate, thanks for the compliment.
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