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After a Long Day

 

 

 

 

fingers curl and ache
to the winter cull

dark plumes
within portions of quiet

elucidates to time
water laps her body
candles flicker
around end of day tasks

interuptions of pipistrelles
peeping in the elderflower trees

settle for the night
nestle upwards in the empty house
opposite her kitchen backdoor

wait
slow breath
purple shadows dance

pouncing cats on window panes

cry like babies

underneath yellow glow

of busy lives liquid forms of electric bulbs 

broken chimney pots spout
puff ball softness

whispers

whisper 
to You


can you see
Your name
in the Sky


Shussshhhh

 

 




 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • katie-jo
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Nicolette, your voice is so authentic and incredibly genuine. You have definitely made this piece your own.
    Thank you so much for your entry and all the best in the contest.


  • Nicolette gold member
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There's an ache here but the beauty of your images somehow softens it.... I just returned to the guest house after a long day's training and i can picture myself in this poem.....even the shussshhhh..... The voice here so very authentic...real life poetry, Gilly.



    ~ Nicolette

  • Rowan gold member
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There's something so lonely in this, the imagery... stark, and superb. The cats crying, the puff-balls of chimney smoke, the electic bulbs... sigh. I agree with Richard, your poetry is so real and truly original.


  • DogFish silver member
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    just wonderful!


  • MuddyKing
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellence is rare

    the third stanza made it all real for me
    the rest came to life ever so steady
    one thing I love about your poetry besides originality...is I see, feel, and hear the common man
    always a pleasure
    best wishes
    peace and hugs
    Muddy


  • Namita
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I was just working on a "sssshhhh" poem. Coincidence, eh? Lovely, anyway. Beautiful, Gill

    - namita


  • misselaineous
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful


  • Elora Danon gold member
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I hate the longing and the ache - even warm bath water doesn't appease that.

    e~


  • tara wilson gold member
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful....


  • Annalise
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "can you see// Your name" wow. that stanza is fantabulous!


  • IronIcecream
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know about your brain
    but mine is made of soap like bubbles
    when one pops
    the light bulbs flicker
    in the lamp
    on the streets
    wherever there is a blackout


    • NurseChilly gold member
      February 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ahhh so that's why I was sat in the bath in the dark then... you went into overload and blew this lil' foresaken countries electric grid


      • IronIcecream
        February 19, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        nope
        it was my cousin humpty dumpty
        shape changing into omelet with the help of the power lines

  • Suzanne Dia
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Nice bath, huh?
    You make me want to take one, but our tub kind of sucks, and I just get cold after about 10 minutes anyway

    I like this, Gilly, very peaceful.




    • NurseChilly gold member
      February 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      uh huh..... it might only be a small bathroom, but with all the candles lit and pretty scents burning, it feels like paradise sometimes



1 - 16 of 16