the way a woman...
When I see a woman hoist
A child easily upon her hip
Words fail my grown man's voice
As I witness such coupling ease
And I am reminded by this image
A child easily upon her hip
How women are our anchorage
As I witness such coupling ease
How she is no longer a sex object
A child easily upon her hip
How she is ready to protect
As I witness such compelling grace
She stands there rooted secure
A child easily upon her hip
Complete in that erotic jutting contour
As I witness such coupling grace
She stands holding the world begun
A child easily upon her hip
A bond eternal broken by none
As I witness such compelling grace.
A contest entry
- Everyday Beauty....... by GodsTrueSoldier.
550 points, ended March 4, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
the way a woman...
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Beautiful poem!
This is lovely verse, lovely imagery of a mother holding a small child (brings back fond memories). Is this a particular form? The repetition of certain lines makes me think it is. Well done and best of luck in the contest. -
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much thanks for the read/too-kind comments as far as a 'form' it is of my own variation just seemed to fit regards thanks again zaj
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much thanks for the read/comments what if they were left-handed balance on other hip? regards zaj
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"She stands holding the world begun
A child easily upon her hip
A bond eternal broken by none
As I witness such compelling grace."
Lovely description of a mother's bond with her children. Women had to learn to balance their children on their hips ... it left one hand free to get all the other household tasks done.
Good luck in the contest!
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Very nice write. I like the repetition (kind of feels like the swaying walk of a woman) and the whole thing feels very erotic to me, and I like that you included that line : "Complete in that erotic jutting contour"
Which it may have been easier to leave out.
Very good
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much thanks for the read/comments glad you liked the 'sway' regards zaj
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in reverse to your poem I always love seeing fathers with their small children.
but anyway your poem is really good. Your poem has a nice flow and is from the best of my judgement flows very well. -
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much thanks for your read/comments regards zaj
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You're going to have a lot of groupies, once this gets read..all women love to be cherished...and especially when they're pregnant. Very good stuff, zaj...
peace,
Jin
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much thanks for your read/comments thanks for allowing/inviting me to enter regards zaj
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much thanks for your read/comments women should be cherished what with the off-hand substitutes of goats-lambs, blow-up dolls, robots CAN'T GET A BLOW-UP DOLL, ROBOT, OR ANY OF THE OTHERS 'PREGGERS' - AT LEAST NOT YET?!? the march of science-technology continues on regards zaj
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=D very nice, I like the way you used repetition in this and i like teh way u foudn a different kind of beauty in women =D it's exzcellently written and beautiully ellaborated!
Thanks muy for your entry xD -
Hi zaj,
Loved your perception here, which reminded me so much of when I was a "pregger" and how admirably my hubby would look at me. Anyway, the last line repetition was really appealing, along with the subtle imagery.
It was nice to stumble upon your work again...look forward to reading more in the future. ~mommy
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ah mommy of2 much thanks for the read/comments glad to hear/read from you again regards zaj
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This is a beautiful tribute to all women. Thank you. Good luck in the contest.
Lady D
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to LD - much thanks for the read/kind comments yes women are exceptionally beautiful when 'preggers' - with their nipples the aeriolas swollen&darkened AND afterward when they exhibit all the qualities of compassion/caring UNLIKE WHEN THET YELL AT ME COR CONSTANTLY CLICKING CHANNELS ON THE TV REMOTE!!! ah women regards zaj
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