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A whispered sorrow

A whispered wind that blows cold in the crisp moonlight

Stars to high to reach like goals that burn to bright

Memories to raw to remember ,covered with pain fear

 

Not a day passes that i don't wish you were here

 

With dark hair as straight as rain and as soft as feathers blowing in the breeze

 

sun kissed  skin of leather and eyes of flowing river blue .

 

with soft words of decent wisdom to be passed on from age to age .

 

Once I made a promise to remember you with laughter and grace .

because that's how he remembers us all if you only remember the tears don't remember him at all. 

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  • HpWICKEDangel
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ok lets see here.....
    not to be too critical- it is a good write.
    there is only a few words that i would have changed for myself.... not that you needed any

    'Memories to raw to remember ,covered with pain fear'
    i would have put pained instead of pain.

    "With dark hair as straight as rain and as soft as feathers blowing in the breeze"
    i would have broken it up before and...
    and instead of blowing (which you have alot of owing words) i would have put floating

    ..."eyes of flowing river blue" eyes of flowing blue rivers deep

    and the last part im not so sure of. if you remember the good times than you should remember him. not the sadness. unless you are speaking of the tears of joy spent with all.