Drift,
And contemplate,
All that once could come,
All that now has been,
And all you’ve never done.
Mysteries you can’t disguise,
Drift within your fires.
The burning of your fallen spirit,
Pain throughout the night,
And thoughts so deep within it.
For torment of your life has grown,
And never shall it fall,
Your dice are thrown,
Your death is done,
Your soul, your mind and all.
Author notes
17 lines, i know, but an chance of an exception, they are short lines.
A contest entry
- Crazy psycho spasmatic convolsions!!!!!!! by scum of the earth.
300 points, ended February 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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hmmmm... this is a very interesting poem, I love the fact that you have to think as you go along.
good luck in my contest -
This is an interesting poem.
It makes your mind have to think!
It could be explaining a lot of things
but it has all these double meanings.
Well, at least I think so. I hope I'm right.
I like the repetition in this poem too.
It makes it come back down to base after ever
few lines. Good luck!
-Emily
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Drift, I like this word, its almost like your state of mind before you fall asleep, and the fact that you use the word contemplate right after it, is disturbing, its like finishing a sentence and the saying “but”. This was the whole theme through out this poem.
Let me explain to you what I am talking about.
In your fist verse I get the idea you are talking about sins in the past, things that we want to change, and the impossibility of that.
In your second verse I feel a sense of punishment…burning in hell and all that.
Or probably worse…having your sins haunting you in your nightmares!
In your third verse I felt at peace…what shall be shall be!
My friend in so few lines you have summed up every single thought of every single emotion…in order.
SIN (Did I do the right thing!)
REGRET (There is always regret, if you did something wrong or right, the is always regret.)
And finally PEACE…we al know that only thing that takes us through regret is the knowing of the peace that time will bring.
People might not read this in this poem, but I think what you are trying to say is…”Do what ever you want to, BUT stop, think what you’re doing!”
This is an awesome message that I think everyone should hear.
And it may not have been you intention, but after reading this, I feel hopeful.
I don’t think I read too much into this one…you tell me.
You’re poetry is still a pretty good mind f#$k!
Well done!
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