Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Pessimism.

Sacrifice a lawyer

Pick up the phone...

Voices echo in a cacophony of words

I've reached a crossroad,a thin white line...

Choices I know must be made

Eternal greatness lies beneath your soul.




Leading to a future not known.

Glorious fate of this I have become...



Deterioration of the human machine.






Author notes

Um,we combined our brains together and came up with this recipe of a piece...

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Titus gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    the first line was genius, and what followed was simply refreshing. and the last, well, I think a loss in trust, maybe, Nice write, simply stated, and excellently done,


  • JT Sammer
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully deep piece that had me...well speechless...excellent, keep writing! Peace n' Love,JT


  • obscenegesture
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    You had me at 'sacrifice a lawyer'. Going to work on that right now...

  • monstruo
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    It's true, so many details of the human experience ultimately end up breaking us down and leaving a bad taste in our mouths concerning anything human. Good piece.


  • Anubis The Shaman
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    I shall call you Mrs. Deep from now on. Cause that was a piece that rattled my cage. And like many others, I did particularly enjoy the line "Deterioration of the human machine" It's like said by George Sears:

    "We're all born with an expiration date."

  • A.z.a
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting, its funny how things approach us to reach our limits
    "Deterioration of the human machine."
    nice work


  • cLaSsiX
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    very good write it could have so many different meanings, there are so many different choices that you could be talking about, it really gets your mind going. keep it up.


  • Irial
    March 13
    Edit | Reply
    Minimalistic as it should be, as has been said before me I see I find the message very clear. And we should all be sacrificing lawyers and be raging against the human machine, that takes us from human to simply a number in a list of other... consuming machines... etc... etc... etc... <.<


  • prose before hos
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    I actually had to look up cacophony that is a great word. thats going in my vocabulary right now. I think you very eloquently put how you felt into a small amount of space. there is no filler here everything has purpose and this made me happy.


  • arafura
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    "I've reached a crossroad,a thin white line...
    Choices I know must be made..."

    Very thought provoking... Made me think and ponder the poet's intent. Well done!


  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you,obscene...appreciated

  • obscenegesture
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Plenty would have put a lot of time and effort in working this out into a lengthy piece. They'd have been wrong to do it, too. It's a very deep poem, with a message clear as mud. Just the way it should be.


  • Rejected Easter Egg gold member
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    awesome job!!!!!!!! I loves it. and thank you for commenting hunny


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    February 19

    Edit | Reply

    Very Nice

    I have to hand it to you both you did quite a nice job with penning this incredible collaboration effort together. you wrote this clearly and also broke it down in an effective way that it was easy on the eyss and flowed beautifully. any ways I liked your beginning and it flowed right to the very last line quite purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfectly! any ways an all round awesome job and keep up the good work you 2

1 - 14 of 14