Sacrifice a lawyer
Pick up the phone...
Voices echo in a cacophony of words
I've reached a crossroad,a thin white line...
Choices I know must be made
Eternal greatness lies beneath your soul.
Leading to a future not known.
Glorious fate of this I have become...
Deterioration of the human machine.
Author notes
Um,we combined our brains together and came up with this recipe of a piece...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Sacrifice a lawyer - i like that.
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brilliant
wow!
i like the way this poem makes me feel
alive and kicking!
this poem speaks of great truths
and it does so very clearly and loud!
fantastic write keep it up
Kurt
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the first line was genius, and what followed was simply refreshing. and the last, well, I think a loss in trust, maybe, Nice write, simply stated, and excellently done,
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This is a beautifully deep piece that had me...well speechless...excellent, keep writing! Peace n' Love,JT
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You had me at 'sacrifice a lawyer'. Going to work on that right now...
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It's true, so many details of the human experience ultimately end up breaking us down and leaving a bad taste in our mouths concerning anything human. Good piece.
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I shall call you Mrs. Deep from now on. Cause that was a piece that rattled my cage. And like many others, I did particularly enjoy the line "Deterioration of the human machine" It's like said by George Sears:
"We're all born with an expiration date." -
very interesting, its funny how things approach us to reach our limits
"Deterioration of the human machine."
nice work
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very good write it could have so many different meanings, there are so many different choices that you could be talking about, it really gets your mind going. keep it up.
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Minimalistic as it should be, as has been said before me I see I find the message very clear. And we should all be sacrificing lawyers and be raging against the human machine, that takes us from human to simply a number in a list of other... consuming machines... etc... etc... etc... <.<
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I actually had to look up cacophony that is a great word. thats going in my vocabulary right now. I think you very eloquently put how you felt into a small amount of space. there is no filler here everything has purpose and this made me happy.
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"I've reached a crossroad,a thin white line...
Choices I know must be made..."
Very thought provoking... Made me think and ponder the poet's intent. Well done!
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Thank you,obscene...appreciated
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Plenty would have put a lot of time and effort in working this out into a lengthy piece. They'd have been wrong to do it, too. It's a very deep poem, with a message clear as mud. Just the way it should be.
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awesome job!!!!!!!! I loves it. and thank you for commenting hunny
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Very Nice
I have to hand it to you both you did quite a nice job with penning this incredible collaboration effort together. you wrote this clearly and also broke it down in an effective way that it was easy on the eyss and flowed beautifully. any ways I liked your beginning and it flowed right to the very last line quite purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfectly! any ways an all round awesome job and keep up the good work you 2
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