I wake
entombed in arm’s
warmth; suspended without
cause, but for the promise of his
whisper
Ava Noire
February 2008
Author notes
For C
In a list
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Oh what a wonderful first read, this is sublime.
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You write the most amazing words...thank you ever so much!
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"Entombed" is an interesting word to use here. It seems somewhat in contrast to the message and so I had to read a few times to see if you were conveying a message I didn't get. But it seems clear that the intent is to convey the need for that whisper, presumably from C. Lovely.
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Lovely. So sweet and striking.
Nice damned job Ava.
Sag
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Romantic soft feel like a whisper.
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I have to chew on this one for awhile. but it is soothing.
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Beautiful.
-Nam
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This is pretty mysterious. Makes you think and wonder WHY shes suspended there...WHOS holding her...WHY...
This is excellent. -
This was lovely. Is it a specific form? I am just learning about poetry. I know when I like someone's style though and yours is great so far.
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This is like a golden egg and the caramel yolk is so creamy that you only want to dip a tongue in now and then, so that you will have it do it again and again. A prefect jewel of a poem.
~ Joyce
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Away too long
Well crafted! Just checking in and catching up on some of my favorites. Hope things are well with you.
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When I think of cinquains, I think of you.... I learned them from you, Tina...and how wonderful to see this new one written for our mutual friend. The title is perfect as this one really whispers...so very softly.
I've missed your work and you around here.
~ Nicolette
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Ms Ava, You paint word-images like no other. -- Thank you.
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<3
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I've missed your work
Hi! I'm hardly ever on anymore cause I still don't have a comp at home. Too much more important stuff to spend my money one. I'd have one if my mom's BF didn't break mine. Anyway, I'm trying to make it a point to at least get on once a day at work and erad everything posted by my faves. Hope you're doing good by the way I miss talkin' with all my friends on here.
Girl, I haven't read your stuff in so long, and it still never ceases to amaze me how beautiful your words are. This is such a short simple write, but as always you've filled it with emotion, imagery and beauty. I just felt the love dripping from every word as I read. You've always been an awesome poet.
Wish I could get on more often.
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a sweet morsel
good...very good ...the read lingers on in my thoughts imagining the mood ...the whisper ....ilu
-Darmok -
I have but one word for you, Poet...it is "exquisite". Wanda
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What a lovely image and feeling.
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so lovely to read you again ... i hope you will hang around ... its a lovely cinquain - each word carefully considered and so nicely pulled together ... i love 'in arm's warmth' for its use without 'his' which comes later and 'suspended' is great - that half awake/half asleep moment
i am not so taken with the word 'entombed' purely because of its death associations, for me, but i shall think on that one ... so very well done - lovely intent in the whole >>> Gina -
The wait was quite quite worthwhile. How lovely. Truly. Not many people can do "love" like that in a poem. I never tire from your gorgeous cinquains...
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A stunning write. Simply beautiful. Love the last line, "but for the promise of his whisper" Great job.
Kelli
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