Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Whisper




I wake
entombed in arm’s
warmth; suspended without
cause, but for the promise of his
whisper




Ava Noire
February 2008

Author notes

For C

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • awannabepoet
    November 7
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Oh what a wonderful first read, this is sublime.



  • zola
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    You write the most amazing words...thank you ever so much!

  • "Entombed" is an interesting word to use here. It seems somewhat in contrast to the message and so I had to read a few times to see if you were conveying a message I didn't get. But it seems clear that the intent is to convey the need for that whisper, presumably from C. Lovely.


  • Sagittarius silver member
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely. So sweet and striking.

    Nice damned job Ava.

    Sag

  • Romantic soft feel like a whisper.

  • I have to chew on this one for awhile. but it is soothing.


  • Nam
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.

    -Nam

  • J Macabre gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty mysterious. Makes you think and wonder WHY shes suspended there...WHOS holding her...WHY...
    This is excellent.


  • Gothic Star
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was lovely. Is it a specific form? I am just learning about poetry. I know when I like someone's style though and yours is great so far.


  • Sprite silver member
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is like a golden egg and the caramel yolk is so creamy that you only want to dip a tongue in now and then, so that you will have it do it again and again. A prefect jewel of a poem.

    ~ Joyce


  • Brian N
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Away too long

    Well crafted! Just checking in and catching up on some of my favorites. Hope things are well with you.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    When I think of cinquains, I think of you.... I learned them from you, Tina...and how wonderful to see this new one written for our mutual friend. The title is perfect as this one really whispers...so very softly.

    I've missed your work and you around here.



    ~ Nicolette


  • wattle silver member
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ms Ava, You paint word-images like no other. -- Thank you.


  • Mr Vertigo
    February 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    <3


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I've missed your work

    Hi! I'm hardly ever on anymore cause I still don't have a comp at home. Too much more important stuff to spend my money one. I'd have one if my mom's BF didn't break mine. Anyway, I'm trying to make it a point to at least get on once a day at work and erad everything posted by my faves. Hope you're doing good by the way I miss talkin' with all my friends on here.
    Girl, I haven't read your stuff in so long, and it still never ceases to amaze me how beautiful your words are. This is such a short simple write, but as always you've filled it with emotion, imagery and beauty. I just felt the love dripping from every word as I read. You've always been an awesome poet.
    Wish I could get on more often.


  • Darmok
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    a sweet morsel

    good...very good ...the read lingers on in my thoughts imagining the mood ...the whisper ....ilu

    -Darmok


  • Night Hope gold member
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I have but one word for you, Poet...it is "exquisite". Wanda


  • Danna Hobart
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely image and feeling.


  • Emerald13
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so lovely to read you again ... i hope you will hang around ... its a lovely cinquain - each word carefully considered and so nicely pulled together ... i love 'in arm's warmth' for its use without 'his' which comes later and 'suspended' is great - that half awake/half asleep moment

    i am not so taken with the word 'entombed' purely because of its death associations, for me, but i shall think on that one ... so very well done - lovely intent in the whole >>> Gina


  • Axelle Black
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The wait was quite quite worthwhile. How lovely. Truly. Not many people can do "love" like that in a poem. I never tire from your gorgeous cinquains...


  • Kelli Marie
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A stunning write. Simply beautiful. Love the last line, "but for the promise of his whisper" Great job.
    Kelli

1 - 21 of 21