Call the caterer of baked hams and poached souls,
for what are those shuttered window panes
without Sunday brunches? And furthermore,
the garden, with its hyacinths and geraniums,
is bare when lacking the serving of
tea and the presence of woolen cloaks
and Parisian shawls. Yes, the motion
of the sundial is inseparable from
the rising of the cock's head in the morn,
which is dependent on the swaying
of the kite through delicate air.
The pastel shades of sapphire and amethyst
reflect vaguely onto the emerald lawn,
as the cool characters in the sea's breeze
shine upon waves who's memory can
be sustained only as a state of mind,
rather than a fragment of some actuality.
This is why a night's sleep between crimson sheets
is only possible with the release
of all concepts of metaphor.
A contest entry
- SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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a good piece of poetry you have penned - some descriptive imagery used to show detail to your thoughts.
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i loved it. i could almost picture it as a song in a musical. loved the last two lines. it had a great flow and nice use of language. good imagery.
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Interestingly philosophical. It felt more like a lecturers musings or a speech than a poem...but I liked it. The imagery was effectively executed and the vocabulary intelligent. Well done.
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well well well
"This is why a night's sleep between crimson sheets
is only possible with the release
of all concepts of metaphor."
STRONG ending and the poem was great. Chalk full of gem colored imagery. keep penning and good luck in the contest laxrocks!
Creatress
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Excellent
It is rare that I progress from mild chuckle to audible harrumphs to laughter as I re-read a poem. However, with each reading I encountered something else to pique my interest. I also had to keep reminding myself to re-read the title before I started again. Good job. -
Fantastic!
This was a great write, full of tone and imagery that are sometimes difficult to portray in a poem [for me, at least]. I really liked this, especially the last stanza. Good luck in your contest! -
wowzaa
a lot big words
really strong
and i like how it set out in a big block
good write
bes poem ive read in along time -
What a spiral!
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The tone this poem starts out with was so pompous it made me laugh, Hope that was the intention!! I enjoyed all the imagery towards the end...I could see the vibrant colors.
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Great Write
Welcome into the AP Family and thank you for posting a fine piece of poetry. Very talented and expressive imagery flawlessly written. Please place Username along with family member preference in with your response to my comment.
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Uncle Sam?
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Thank you so much for the nice comments. Sorry about that, I wasn't sure where to post those things.
Laxrocks33
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The poem builds from the renovated catering hall, to the more connected, but peripheral, garden tea party, to the unaffected state of being there - between the sheets - like a dream, but not a dream. The poem's internal connections of how time was kept, for instance, shows how a build-up of knowledge gives weight to every moment of the present.
The end of the first stanza ends with the dilemma of mediocricy. The spirit of the past mixes with present modes or combines with thought - the former a fractured sense of reality, the latter a dreamlike understanding of the past. This is clearly expressed by mixing of color. Seeking the compass of the spirit, though, actively works on an accumulation of sensation - causing connections - alluded to throughout the poem. The result is a state of mind against which further experience is weighed for authenticity. This is not merely a gathering and distribution of information, but a cause.
Thanks for the great poem.
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And thank you, for all the fantastic compliments.
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The detail in this was exquisite. I think that there could have been more emotion... but as far as imagery and word choice goes, things were vivid and beautiful. Fabulous job!
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Thanks for your complementary comment. I was wondering though, what did you mean by more emotion? Specifically, what kind or style or emotion and in what lines of the poem?
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Not emotion... sorry... maybe personality.. like where are you in the poem?
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Hmm, I don't think the purpose of the poem was to convey a perspective of a singular speaker. I felt as though the title explains the situation clearly enough, but I see how it could be fairly ambiguous.
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True. Good point.
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