Hands in my hair, as if to relieve this pain
of the encumbrance that has been inflicted by my own actions
This flame engulfed passion surging through my veins
so I can feel a independence I've never known
Hoping to scuttle off and live in my love's arms
but am splitting at the seams
For I have my family at one end of my mind
with my freedom and future husband at the other
And each time they pull, they take away my golden suppressed sanity
thus creating a torn and tattered ruby and obsidian butterfly
Author notes
5-10 lines
Prompt-Torn
Was suppose to be written for my friends contest, but I could not submit fast enough.
Contest-7. family problems
"I feel, I love, so I live"
This was also inspired by current issues between the love of my life, and my strict parents...Will I ever win?
A contest entry
- ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!! 1000 pts. by Rdy2begorgeous.
1000 points, ended February 21, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gothic/Emo Contest... by Sunday Rain.
825 points, ended March 23, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many options by forget my memories.
450 points, ended March 13, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come along AP Poets, Time to Win!! by Hebz.
525 points, ended March 17, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 days, 10 poems by Beatles Girl.
300 points, ended March 25, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me how i did...
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I feel you. I have a bit of the same problem myself- my parents do all they can to make me crazy, and living 300 miles away from my fiancee helps none at all. All I can say is to keep strong for your love and it will all work out!
I love the lines
This flame engulfed passion surging through my veins
so I can feel a independence I've never known
Hoping to scuttle off and live in my love's arms
but am splitting at the seams
Great write!
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Thank you very much for your comment! It's nice to know I'm not alone..
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We're never really alone, but it is very true that sometimes we need to be reminded of that!
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Yeah...
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WOW, you're really good, coz I read so many writes by you & all has captivated me...
Thnx for entering & Best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
This is a very unique poem and not cliche, like many that I've read. However, this poem doesn't really do much for me. It didn't make me feel anything. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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U R 1 out of 18
Congrats!!! -
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Thanks!
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What???
I don't remember postin' this comment...
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The judges & I really do like this poem...
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Thank you for reading and commenting anyway!
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I know the feeling of haveing many different things pulling your mind in different directions. This is a well done write, I especialy like the last line!
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Thank you very much!
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A beautiful write that connected perfectly with the prompt. I think you did a great job with this piece.
Kelli -
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Thank you very much, although sadly I didn't submit it fast enough...I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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