Wit

A laugh bubbles up behind my lips
Nearly escapes, but I swallow it.
Its just so funny, how you compare ships to hips
{How they crash into shores,
how they crash into skin.}
Oh, your wit.

walking in this hall
alone, all alone.
trailing my hand along the wall
trying to think of words I can call my own.

but nothing comes.
these words are not my own.
these eyes are my mother's.
this face is my father's.

I am not my own.
I don't know who I am.
Am I my father?
Goofy, forgetful, silently screaming.
Am I my mother?
Smart, passionate, a secret smoker.

Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?

I don't know.
I don't want these thoughts
I don't want these scars
I don't want these
            these
            THESE
            FEELINGS ANYMORE!


so I flee to your arms again
and feel our hearts
beat beat beat in time.
I close my eyes
and the thoughts fly away
My soul is still again.
You and I laugh
until we cry
until we laugh
until we cry
until we laugh
until I'm alright.


I can never be alone.
The sea of thoughts
and worries and nervousness
crashes upon me in a tidal wave

Some call it stress
some call it overwhelming emotion
            growing
            selfishness
            clinical depression
       

I call it fear.