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[ There was nothing wrong ]

There was nothing wrong
everything seemed to be alright.
  I think I was lying to myself.
Holding everything in,
  I just want to go home.

I want to be wanted
I'm just horrible aren't I?
No one stays loving me,
  except for my family.
I can't even keep a friend.

I want to be wanted,
I can't take people leaving me.
I can't take it.
Even if they are not my close friends.

I've held everything inside,
and today it just came crashing down.
  I just want to go home.

I'm sick of trying to live my life,
i'm sick of trying to be an individaul.
I just want to go home.

Author notes

I didn't lie with the other poems..those were completely true, the strength one..completely true. I just have been feeling homesick and I've been blocking it out, the past weekend actually is when I was most homesick...I want to be able to go home..but I can't right now. Someone needs to helpe me..and I asked him to hurry and he said he would, I hope he's telling the truth.

I want to be able to go home this summer, with a choice at the end of the summer to either stay or go back. Please...I want to be wanted. I don't want to be alone right now...why do I always end up alone? What's wrong with me?

Do read...Tell me whatcha think.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Ilati Aza
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    If you really feel like this Kaz, this utter helplessness and being always alone, then go to a therapist. Seriously. I'm not saying that out of anything other than concern for your well being; you need to get help, in all actuality a therapist is probably the best person to do so.

    Mind you, don't just go to the first one you find. Go to someone you end up comfortable with, but GO see one.

    • KaseyL
      February 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Alli, did you read my other poems that actually showed strength and that I was getting better etc.? Did you read those ones?

      Because you didn't comment on them...and this one was due to homesickness. the others were helping me. I'm asking because, ironically, this one gets responses ..less than half an hour and the other ones don't even get responses 2 weeks later and they were showing that I was gettinb etter and I have strength etc. Gaaaaaaahhh.

      • Ilati Aza
        February 19, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Even if you feel you're getting better, I would still suggest therapy. You don't try what you did over Christmas and not need it.

  • Kelli Marie
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we are just not as strong as we are at other times. I know when I get homesick it is gut wrenching. I enjoyed this read very much. Sad, but understanding.
    Very nice write.
    Kelli
1 - 5 of 5