We all have those That have gone,
to be forever lost,
and the memories we had together,
are embedded in emotional frost.
Those who have severed their souls,
surround me with melancholied tears,
Dripping their grief away,
Some Rliving their greatest fears.
Losing some one precious,
and so adoring to them,
All I can do is watch,
And remember what it was like then.
When I lost some one,
of my very own,
and turned to ills,
I had better known.
Were dangerous to my body,
along with my unresting mind,
with unansered questions,
Why was I left behind?
A question that flows,
into everyones head,
I've seen them happy for the living,
but grieve for the dead!
I cry for some one
of my very own!!
A contest entry
- For The Deceased by DeadlyTurnip.
1550 points, ended March 24, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Anything Goes~ by Charley-.
425 points, ended April 12, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lets see what Ya got by Deceits Tears.
900 points, ended May 8, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what is your favorite part
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Amazing
Words can not describe it
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Great write !!
I loved the words "Emotional Frost" very clever
Thankyou for your entry
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Yes I think we can all relate to this feeling of loss when we lose a loved one! This really had depth to it, a feeling of such sadness, yet a strength to it also.
Beautiful!
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A really nice poem. I like how it switches between the detached voice "we all have lost" and the personal "when i lost" - it really conveys the idea that loss is universal.
I also love the metaphor "emotional frost", it's a though it's still there, it still affects you, but it's intensity has frozen.
Slight criticism, (and I'm being very nit picky!), but you spelt "reliving" wrong in the second stanza, "unanswered" in the fifth stanza, and you left out the apostrophe in "everyones'" in the penultimate stanza.
I really like the poem though, and it helped remind me that everyone experiences loss, and that we should come together in our grievance and not let ourselves feel isolated.
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yea Im not the best typer....i actually hate computers.... I feel they're gonna bite me...
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This is very passionate and beautiful!
Sometimes in life, no matter how much our minds understand a thing, when we actually experience it, we can't seem to get our hearts to understand!!!
This poem expresses this beautifully! Nice job!-Tearyeyed -
This is beautifuly sad
the feeling of loss is a feeling that never truly fades.
You said it wonderfully
thank you for sharing
Fire
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fantasticly written
very deep and moving write
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wow...this is so deep...I lost a lot of people last year, so I can relate...A fantastic write!
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Oh its so hard losing people close to you to death and this brought that out well! You should win the contest that you are in I hope you do!
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This is very good. i can relate to this pretty well
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