Remove
Remove these drapes from off my eyes
so I can see life's alibis
remove this tarnished stain of need
so, again, I can learn to bleed
remove your touch
remove your love
remove this rust before I bust
Remove those tender words you spelled
so I can see how I have failed
remove the gentle tone from your voice
so I will know I have a choice
remove your spell
remove your curse
remove your taint, eloquent paint
Remove those ever afters so sweet
so I can stand on my own feet
remove the tales of your undying love
give me a push, and a firm shove
remove your kisses
remove your care
remove your dreams, and angry screams
Remove your angst from in my life
take the pain, take the strife
remove this love I still hold for you
so I can start to live anew
remove our mem'ries
remove our hopes
remove our present and past-we can't last
Author notes
Trying rhyme for a new friend, and old reasons
may be edited later as I wrote it in five minutes
Image credit: I wanted to live forever-by deviantart's Nakkaia
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like the theme, the beat and the flow
pours out emotions, inside you that grow
powerfully writen, speaks from your heart
clear out the demons, so you can restart
because you see them, know them by name
they're easy tragets, when you take aim..
rudolf
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Your pen screams a powerful ache, woven with such delicate beauty and care... A sadness, a longing for release - tangled within such depth of emotions. A well rhymed piece indeed. I think some stains of the heart remain, whether it is to strengthen us - it seems only a greater weakness than before. Great write!
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FIVE MINUTES?
oh damn...this would have taken me FIVE days...
you did an excellent job with your rhyme...
this reads a bit lyrical to me...as though it could be sung with great success...
so many lines here that are within my own heart indeed...
this is a universal feeling but penned so very well...
lots of stuff in my heart I'd love to remove...LOL!
where the hell is the delete button?
Blessings! Tammy
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not bad for 5 minutes of work...the only time I am not resistant to rhyme, which is rare because I usually hate it, is when the word flow is not contrived. great images and emotional content is very potent. thanks.
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No...thank you. It is nice to hear from those who prefer not to rhyme that my rhyme is good. I try also not to be too cliche when using it. I am greatful for such an honest comment.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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eyes and alibis was a great one to start with. veering away from the cliches..lies, disguise, and god forbid, pies. and you didn't leave yourself in that black-hole of rhyming heart, well steered.
i enjoyed the journey.
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Well thank you ever so kindly my British buddy. I try not to be cliche, that is for things like Vogue magazine LOL. I am happy to see you drop by and shall return the favor soon.
Love and light,
Billie Jean
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Channel on
I see you've been channeling past poets as well. This is great and especially so knowing you did it so quickly. Sometimes it just flows. Other times, well, I'm sure you know about those.
I can identify with this poem, that gentle immobilization that happens when we fall under the spell of someone we love. Trapped in the amber of love -- and do you want to stay or do you want to go? It is a vexing question for there is some form of damnation in either choice. You capture all those feelings very well.
This is a really great write and demonstrates that you are a poetess of many talents.
CaliOkie
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ok i even like you're rhyming, and i hate rhyming ! ok maybe not hate, but strongly dislike! lmao, this is awesome! why should i be surprised though! i love your writing!
Tasha
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Now THAT is an honor hun. Hugs. I prefer freeverse as well, but have to keep my rhyming quill dust free! Thank you so much
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That picture really pulled me in and I was lured into reading more and you did not let me down. The emotions were so brilliantly expressed here... and you did it with such passion and honesty. I truly enjoyed this. Well don.
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Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I am glad you enjoyed it!
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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