What do I think truth is?
Shakespeare says, we are actors upon a stage.
I say, in my rage in my cage confined,
that this lion needs no reason to be
for it is his season (to roar).
What do I belive?
In no form, do I speak. Nor wisdom do I seek
for in self containment I exist. As others
rotate slowly in my universe, (I'm alone)
My arrogance and self pride consumes me.
A god, I am, shows me the way
in his power and spirit I do play.
In his dream and his creation,
do I find love insatiation.
The 'I am' is death incarnate
it is the self attachment
to ego that bind and blinds.
As far as 'I am' concerned
my ego can take a hike.
I won't miss it.
That is my truth!
You can buy my book for $19.99 at Whatarip.com
A contest entry
- DON'T BLAME YOUR DAUGHTER...A DARK THEME OF SEARCHING by Blue Rew.
1257 points, ended February 24, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - then who I am?... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended May 5, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Silver Sword of Truth- prewrites accepted....many images and quotes to select. by FlamesDragoness.
400 points, ended November 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticize freely, I need input to improve
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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whoa...I do enjoy a free spirit....thankyou for allowing
us to live upon this earth with you....
actually you wrote this well...and singe's and burns
our souls...to hear it's words
said........outloud!
well done!
flamesdragoness
truth in it's rawest form!
brillant!
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That is my truth!
You can buy my book for $19.99 at Whatarip.com
Ok that made me chuckle. It really lightened up the poem with out taking away from it. -
Nice sharp write, true observations and a laugh as well included:
('I' won't miss it)!!! Great stuff.
Congratulations on the trophy.
Sol
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This is an intriguing piece revealing the stories of this life..I love the concept..my thanks for your wonderful entry in my contest.....
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That's a bit different, ridding yourself of your ego and not mentioning material things at all.
Interesting write.
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I knew it was the Hitchiker's guide. 42 is a very memorable number after that and about the poem, it's good. I like the ending. Repetitive poetry has its charm over me and you execute this rather well. Good luck in the contest.
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The first and third stanzas carry much weight,
each lending power to the other which in turn
balances the overall impression of the piece.
The middle, I might suggest a slight rework.
"A god, I am, shows me the way" in particular
with its quick switch from I am to shows me
creates a pause in flow as I return to reread
and see if I can capture exactly what's being
said. The punctuation starts off well in the
first stanza but dwindles from there. It really
helped (in my opinion) convey these words with
the right relevance.
Wonderful concept to "borrow" from this write
and compare self to universe. Blue
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Insightful
That was the best critique I've gotten on this site. You saw subtlety that I hadn't intended. I'll try to rework this piece. Thank you in making me better.
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