the founding fathers didn't believe in you.
but i do.
you're running away
and i promised i'd follow,
through moonlight and snow,
nightmares and blistered hearts --
to hell and back, just for you.
i promised but you're downing whiskey like it's water,
coating your lungs with white powder,
escaping from everything and nothing
and
me.
&& what am i supposed to do,
slit my wrists with you, run through the fire
trying to convince myself that you still love me?
['cause i still love you, it's true.]
but your eyes are windows to nothing,
to blank slates beyond,
feeling only what the drugs tell you to;
oh, and i still remember those rainbow sunrises on your lawn,
the feeling of your arms around me,
the sound of your laugh --
darling, i remember you
[even if you don't]
and even though i try to
let.you.go,
your hand is still squeezing my heart,
little half-moon fingernail cuts
seeping half-hearted pumps of blood.
[you're a death grip, my dear,
can't you see you're breaking me?]
oh, love, i've got my crystal ball
and it's counting down the days
until it's all over for us;;
you're driving off this bridge
with me trapped in the passenger seat.
and i don't think you even see me
anymore.
Author notes
oh, first loves.
this is just not my best. :/
A contest entry
- ...love... by Miss Faith.
600 points, ended February 25, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whatever you want to say. Critiques, anything. :)
Comments
-
I thought this was beautiful.
It had me hooked from beginning to end. The language and the imagery you used was utterly sublime and I could really relate to it. I'd pick out some quotes but there were really so many, that I can't be bothered
Well done, and good luck in the contest you entered =]
Hannah
-
this is amazing.
you create brilliant imagery throughout.
well done.
-
stunning!!!
oh, this isn't your best?! well then my dear poet, I need to read the rest of your stuff, because this was ammmmazing!!! and I can relate to every line, my best friend/lover turned out to just like this...oh, so sad. this truly broke my heart. thank you for sharing this piece with me!
i promised but you're downing whiskey like it's water,
coating your lungs with white powder,
escaping from everything and nothing
and
me.
I loved the entire piece, but this was the part that stabbed me in the heart....
"&& what am i supposed to do,
slit my wrists with you, run through the fire
trying to convince myself that you still love me?
['cause i still love you, it's true.]
but your eyes are windows to nothing,
to blank slates beyond,
feeling only what the drugs tell you to;
oh, and i still remember those rainbow sunrises on your lawn,
the feeling of your arms around me,
the sound of your laugh --
darling, i remember you
[even if you don't]"
-
Bravo!!
This is EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now!
"but your eyes are windows to nothing,
to blank slates beyond,
feeling only what the drugs tell you to;
oh, and i still remember those rainbow sunrises on your lawn,
the feeling of your arms around me,
the sound of your laugh --
darling, i remember you
[even if you don't]"
Wow this is the same predicament that I'm in. Thats so freaking crazy.
I love this part the best though.
Its like you watched a video of the past few months of my life and wrote a poem for it.
Wow.
Just.
Wow.
I love it.
Its incredible!!
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