Soft kisses and sweet embrace
Sighs and swoons and moans
Passion, desire, perfume and lace
And gentle, loving groans
Sunny days and moonlit nights
Hours spent beneath the stars
Glamour, splendour, and beauty bright
And all of it was ours
Love and hate, their daughter lust
Desire turns to despair
In passion's footsteps walks disgust
And lovers perish there
Embrace sour, and kisses stale
Cries and wails and moans
Passion, none, and tattered lace
And harsh, rapid groans
Stormy days and blackened nights
Hours wasted beneath the stars
Glamour dull and beauty never bright
And all of it was ours
Love spawned hate, it was just lust
Desire became despair
Where passion ruled now just disgust
My lover left me there
Author notes
Can you think of a better title. This is so unoriginal!
This just came. straight out. I'm not sure about stanza 3/6 - i didn;t have it and then decided to add it in to 'tell the story' more.
it should be obvious - from a 'betrayed' person's point of view. they thought it was love - it was just lust, and now they feel abandoned and hurt etc.
never been in this situation (too young!) hope not to get there. very sorry for all you who have been there.
and i want to write this into my novel (anyone who knows me will know what i mean and hopfully guess where i could fit something like this in. not the poem, the idea)
A contest entry
- Best Frenemies... by AllYoullNeverHave.
600 points, ended March 15, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i love the way you repeated and slightly changed the stanzas, it works really well in the flow of the poem, which is great throughout.
just the second line of the third stanza that kinda threw me, seemed (to me) to have 1 too many sylablles to flow in fitting with the rest of the poem; possibly could use turned intead of turns to?
just a suggestion neways, and either way a wonderful write
good luck in the contest
amy
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I really like this just how it is. I love the repetition of the rhyming words and similar sentences, but at the same time the sentences are different and have a different feel to them. This was very nicely done. Good luck in the contest!
~AllYoullNeverHave
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