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Somewhere In The Silence

Somewhere in the Silence
Hides the joined essence of my mind and soul
In a place that defies the rules of any exact science
Almost like those fantasy stories
You know that magical grassy knoll

That can never be located on any map
That place you always travel to when you take a nap
That place you went to as a child playing with your toys
Where your mind and soul combine
Buried deep in what the cold and calculated call "White Noise"

It is your zone
Your sacred DMZ
Where you are truly alone
Located somewhere in the silence

When you were a child you went there
With ease
As if it were another room
That you could leave or enter as you would please

But as you grow older
In seems much harder
But then society our benevolent molder
Always seems to make things much harder

And so one must find a new way
To regain their grassy knoll
To once again find that magical rabbit hole
That lies somewhere in the silence

To find it some play sports
Others sing and dance
And some just meditate

Then there are others like myself
Who only arrive in their most intimate of moments
For me it is during the rapturous throes of lovemaking with my lady
Every kiss of passion
Every blissful climax
Every cupping of her bosom with my hands
Every time my hair stands
Every moan of wanton desire
Every moment my heart burns as if on fire....

Is another step onto my grassy knoll
The dwelling of my joined mind and soul
I become the loneliest of warriors: A sniper
Fighting and rebelling the rules of the world
A breakout that seems like an eternity in what is a brief moment

All the while I lie quietly in a place where I am peaceful and chaotic, happy yet sad
A place where I live in subtle compliance and blatant defiance
A lone sniper who can see the world as his sight picture
Hiding motionless
Somewhere In The Silence

Author notes

Ummm.... This was simply a summation of thoughts I was having one day and my hand started itchin' for a pen and I gave in to the urge and let the ink flow ( along with the acid trip of my brain). Hope y'all like!!!

Positive Criticism please.... I mean this seriously!!!

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • Wow...im speechless, and mad because I have missed out on your work. I am truly a fan and everything about this write from the content to the flow answers the question 'why'. This write covers a lot of ground, I can see why you'd take out a pen and write down what you were thinking. :-)

  • this is a really great poem, nice flow. A good use of the pen flow.


  • inwakanma
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    when i started reading it i started feeling some emotions coming threw but you know you try your best to keep them in in front of people but when it got to the love making section it really hit the heart and i shead a fue tears this is great and i miss you and i mean that

    great right i luv u and miss you dude call me sometime


  • luckynsincere gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Great write you have penned here. I enjoyed the wording... gave it lots of power!! If I could give any small critique it would be to be careful with using "caps" on the beginning of each line. It makes it appear a bit choppy. I like that you took the chance of using "repeating words". Usually it would be distracting, but you pulled it off!!

    Thanks for sharing!!

    Always,
    Melanie

    . Rewarded 8


    • Lil Langston
      February 19
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for the comment and the criticism!!!!!

      Yeah, I have habit of capitalizing the words on every line because when I write my poems in my journal I put caps on every line to remind me of a new line as I use little punctuation within my journal. As a result it transfers into my typing. Thanks for pointing this out for me, I will be on the lookout for this in the future.

      • luckynsincere gold member
        February 19
        Edit | Reply
        It was my pleasure to read!! You have a talent!! Thank you for sharing a bit with me

        Melanie

  • Emile
    February 18
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    A longing spirit that dreams of wings to fly away from the norm and taste innocence once again within the freshness and peace of imagination as it calls to the child in him; if only for a meager instance in time. Very well done with wonderful feeling and depth. Excellent in both from and delivery.

    . Rewarded 6

  • davidwright silver member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very good piece of work. Silence is the place each of us hides when seeking sanctuary from the din. A thoughtful and evocative write. Happy trails

  • Devils Reject
    February 18
    Edit | Reply
    I adore the thoughts of that secret place It is to bad we seem to lose it as we grow older. You did a perfect job here. Finding that grassy knoll seems so hard these days.
    "And so one must find a new way
    To regain their grassy knoll
    To once again find that magical rabbit hole
    That lies somewhere in the silence"
    I think this is my favorite part. Great write!

    . Rewarded 6

  • mmook
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    the passion and imagery and flow of this piece of art is excellent.. a place yo hide and somewhere in the silence hit home with me... thanks for sharing

    . Rewarded 4


  • Kilrah
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    I like the beginning of the poem, the whole idea of a "place to hide" so to speak.
    Awesome background
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