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in a faint distance

shhh, hear that?
listen carefully
through the walls seeps out a sound that becomes familar to my drum

"hush little baby don't say a word..."
in the distance the cries of grace falls upon us
wishes of God's blessings are rushed towards us

rashes...
fevers...
coughs...
cries...
hunger...
restlessness...

in a faint distance my love emerges
our joy is pronounced with wise tendencies
save me from withdrawl, i can now breathe easy

in a faint distance our world changes for the betterment of our family
love is overflowing
the joy of knowing we had a hand in this pot of gold

smiles...
burps...
tickles...
laughter...
twinkles...

in a faint distance the sunshines even when it sets
our world knows no regrets
i'm terrified, but pace with the impatience of knowing as if i didn't know

in a faint distance mommy screams my name
big brother's eyes are filled with joyous wonderment
daddy's heart filled with tears

honored...
graced...
loved...
promised...
wise...

in a faint distance i hear my princess calling my name
daddy awaken me from this darkness
mommy push me into your world

in a faint distance, we look forward
searching for your entrance into our loving embraces
forever your prints will remain on my pen

Author notes

This is a dedication to my daughter on the way!

She's almost here!

    : , Your review:

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Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • lovelifelive gold member
    October 10

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    aww so sweet A father loves is such a wonderful thing and you have shown that here in this heart felt piece congrads on your blessing


    • WiseWithWordz
      October 10
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      thx a million...and she's my mini me...lol...crazier though...lol, thx for reading!


  • madamcb
    February 22, 2008

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    Aww. This is such a beautiful, wonderful tribute filled with such love and hope and wisdom. i pray your precious gift be even more beautiful than the tribute to her,God bless you, thanx, conni

    • WiseWithWordz
      July 6, 2008
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      i thank you for your wonderful comment. i'm terribly sorry it took me half a year to respond. lol...very busy though, especially now!

  • Still Gonna Shine
    February 22, 2008

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    very good i hope everything goes well and that she will be a good daughter for you.

    "save me from withdrawl, i can now breath easy" (breath should be breathe)


  • simplefarmgirl
    February 22, 2008

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    Wow, I actually read it, got to the end, and read it again. I love the form of this poem. It's very easy to read and informative at the same time...if that makes any sense. :-)

    Awesome poem!


    • WiseWithWordz
      July 6, 2008
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      thanks for liking what i wrote. it's a precious piece to me. come again any time!


  • movedon
    February 22, 2008

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    I know this feeling and you did a wonderful job of putting it in to words! Keep up the amazing work
    love
    broken

  • mesraghow
    February 22, 2008

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    this was a great poem. it encompasses all that we as male and human beings are force to realie when we have kids. life is more than what is to the eyes.

    • WiseWithWordz
      July 6, 2008
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      thanks for reading. life is truly beautiful now more than ever. she has brought smiles in the creases of my face that i didn't hink i had.


  • Animarising
    February 22, 2008

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    This is lovely! I really love the overall feel of this. Yes, there are a few mistakes etc etc, but the point for me is the emotion that comes through. As a father of two, i FEEL it!


  • eleno
    February 22, 2008

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    thta very sweet, but i believe there are a few mistakes here and there.. and a word restlyness? is that english?
    thanks for sharing


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 22, 2008

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    There's a word up there I don't recognise - "restlyness". There's a lot to this poem, and you have obviously put a lot of thought and work into it. I don't think you entirely won me over with it, but please accept a smattering of applause.


  • cognitivedistortion
    February 21, 2008

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    I really liked the form in this, it emphasized your words where it needed it the most. This is a great poem for welcoming someone unborn into our world. It offers hope. Congrats and best of luck.


  • spiffyspat
    February 21, 2008
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    Shucks. Very very very sweet + pretty. Loved it.


  • frownsnfreckles
    February 21, 2008
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    aawwww this is really lovely. One to frame and put on the wall for her in later years!


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 21, 2008
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    How wonderful it will be when your daughter can read this ome day - she will know how you felt at the time before her birth. Sentiments well expressed in these lines; easy to read and understand. Having a baby is so much of a job, but when loved it is worth it.


  • warrior-eagle
    February 21, 2008

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    Awwwwwwww.w
    LOl.
    This was so sweet,
    so very well written,
    and i loved the form
    it was written on.
    Great!
    What will her name be?

    ..Simply Me♥

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008

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      thanks for coming to visit. i truly appreciate your words. i intended this piece to become something that i'd always cherish like my daughter.

  • Amarige
    February 21, 2008
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    So sweet and written with so much love to your baby on the way..God bless!

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      thanks a million. i truly apprecaite all the support i've receive from this piece....wow the lights are getting bright now...lol!

  • linjoymae
    February 21, 2008
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    Very Loving

    Best wishes for a safe and easy delivery


    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      well thank you for your words. it's always nice to have someone appreciate what you do. come again anytime!


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    February 21, 2008

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    A very well written sentiment. I wish you all the best for you and your family. Here's a link to a song with which you might be familiar:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush_Little_Baby#Hush_Little_Baby


  • Schizein
    February 21, 2008
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    Great!

    I loved it, Great job!

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      i'm glad you feel so strong about this piece. i poured my thoughts over this piece. thanks for coming. come again anytime.


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    February 21, 2008

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    Extremely Beautiful

    I love how well you penned this beauty of a poem. I also really love how you let yourself go and you write in a sens eof way from the upcoming child's point of view of what the world will be like someday for her very soon. any ways your poem is extremely beautiful and quite exquisite. I really loved your methaphorical break down through each stanza as they stay strong together and your message gets through to us all. very well done and keep up the incredible work and congratulations on soon having a daughter

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      i truly loved your comments. i feel good to know that people such as yourself even take time out to view my thoughts. thanks for the comments. please stop by to visit again.

  • kirkman
    February 21, 2008
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    delightful

    Just delighful, Dad! Check spelling.

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      thanks for commenting on this piece. thanks for the spell check...i'm getting on it...lol. come back again anytime.

  • laxrocks33
    February 21, 2008

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    Grammatical and spelling mistakes. "Seeps." "Carefully." Otherwise, I thought this was well-written and brimming with emotion, but the lack of attention given to the grammar was troubling.

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      yes there are a few errors...thanks for finding them. i will try harder to edit my work before sending out. thanks for viewing my work. sorry for the editing mishaps. your comments are appreciated.


  • AsIThink gold member
    February 21, 2008

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    Excellent and Moving...

    I love this piece...the imagery is fantastic and the feel is warm and inviting. Makes me think of my daughter. I wish I had written this. Congrats in advance...

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 21, 2008
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      well...well...well...my scribe, thanks for your wonderful comments. i am pleased to know you wish you would've written this......wow...what an honor to even consider those thoughts. thanks my man. always love to hear/see your comments.


  • moluv10
    February 19, 2008
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    This is a wonderful dedication to your baby girl on the way! Congradulations!

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 19, 2008
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      thanks my friend...i tried to convey my love and scared since at the same time...lol...i can't wait. thanks for the comment!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    February 18, 2008

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    BEAUTIFUL!

    And I'm all giddy AGAIN! the thought of being an uncle again has me just about as anxious as you too!
    great dedication piece to your soon to be newest addition to the world outside!

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 19, 2008
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      well thank you my son...lol i heard this call freom the walls behind me...no silly, it wasn't a mouse, though it could've been...lol...as i reached my ear out closer...i heard the cries of a sweet lullaby, well cries...lol this drew me right into this write. i'm glad you liked it!


  • Itahed
    February 18, 2008
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    what a beautiful dedication.. what a lucky little girl!!

    • WiseWithWordz
      February 19, 2008
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      well i have the pleasure of gaining a compliment from a new poem to my page...thanks a billion for stopping by and a trillion for commenting on my piece. i'm the lucky one, i'm greatful that i have the ability of thought and can actually put a few words together to make a piece like this. thanks for reading. come again any time. i look forward to reading some of your work.

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