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Father, I Never Knew You

I lay in the grass and

I think and I wonder

about my father.

My father will never know how beautiful

 ''his"daughter has grown up to be.
I do not want to think about him any more,

because he never seemed to think about me.

I saw a little girl who was playing with her father, 

but that will never will happen for me

becuase he left me when I was I a little girl and now

he is dead.

A year ago,

almost to the day he died.

 

 

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • faderman1959
    June 15, 2009

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    I'm so sorry you lost your father. It hurts no matter what the reason. Mine is gone also even though I am much older, I still miss him sometimes. But you have to live to make yourself happy. Don't let anyone hold you down. dream your dreams and try your best and the rest will all work itself out.

    It may not seem like it but there is love in this poem. I can feel it and someday you may feel it as well.


  • JackFellDown
    July 19, 2008

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    Interesting

    Well Jane you have a sad story here, Again I prefer rhymeing poetry and the message given is clear and well done but a few things detract away from its beauty. A few spelling mistakes and lack of proper capitalization and punctuation kind of make the piece seem unfinished. A little editing will give you the professionalism that people like to see when they read poetry. I think its not the subject of your work that prevents some people from reading on. Also I know to each person is their own style but if you took out all the breaks and put this in a paragraph it would read like one. You might consider clearer breaks in idea when writing. Something that is worthy of writing about, just a little editing issues. Good job overall, the background is cute and adds to the piece just the same.


  • Sweet Jane
    February 25, 2008
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    Love is waiting for you to smile back

    I know you are aware that love is a verb, an action word. It is very sad when we give to one who turns away. He was not able to act and love anyone, he died long before last year. You my dearest are alive,act with your life, live the future you have ahead of you, look around, look in the miror, look inside yourself, you are beautiful.
    God Bless you with all the love you share with others. Love can not be given or taken, only shared. There are bad times, and good ones. Please live all your life with your head held proud, catch the breeze and smell the flowers, your life is full of promises, all waiting for you to open your heart and mind to see, to touch to become apart of you. Love to you always and forever I am yours, Annie,


  • Storic
    February 24, 2008

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    Good

    Well Sweet Jane I finally made it! :-)

    I enjoyed reading your poem and was drawn to it by the fact, that like you, I never knew my father. He was a merchant seaman and was killed in WWII two months before my twin sister and I were born.

    I know the circumstances are different, but whatever they were, death or abandonment, you can't stop yourself wondering what sort of person they were sometimes can you?

    You have managed to capture the hurt, bewilderment and that touch of curiosity into a short and very touching poems.

    Thank you for sharing it Meagan - it may even encourage me to write poetry again. Thank you! :-) xx

    • Sweet Jane
      February 25, 2008
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      Thank you for commeting on my poem.
      I will go to read yours to.

  • davidwright silver member
    February 18, 2008

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    Sadness and loss a worthy sentiment. I lost my own at the age of seven and now I can't recall his face. Keep hold of your memories. Happy traikls


    • Sweet Jane
      February 18, 2008
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      My fsather left me becsause I could not walk, talk and they said I should bre put away.


  • rhondasail
    February 18, 2008

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    I like the 'shape' of this poem, though I am not sure you meant it to be a shape. It looks like a tree and sort of gives the sense that you are under that tree looking into the sky while remembering your painful past and learning to deal with the ripples of memeory that 'could have been but will never be' for you. Well written and sad,but I find a glimmer of hope in your line: "will never know how beautiful 'his' daughter has grown up to be"...you are beautiful ...Thanks for sharing so deeply personal a poem. Peace, Rhonda (One little typo in line 11: 'because'...)


  • Lost In Dreaming
    February 18, 2008
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    awww...this is so sad and but you make it so beautiful...bravo


  • larkbird
    February 18, 2008
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    I almost feel bad to say that it is a beautiful poem, because it is on such a deep and painful subject, as talking of things that will never be. But it is still a very well done and raw poem, that really touches the heart. I hope writing this poem gave you at least a little comfort.

  • mmook
    February 18, 2008

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    this is sad piece of work of art.. the loss will hit home with some of reader .. it beautiful well written and well express.. thanks for sharing


  • nichtmich silver member
    February 18, 2008
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    Very sad words indeed. Sometimes we wonder why the so called grown ups do the things they do. Maybe your Mom and Dad had problems with each other, but it sure wasn't ever your fault. I'm glad you have turned out to be such a beautiful talented person. It was his loss and now he'll never be able to fix it, I'm sorry. This is a very good poem.

1 - 16 of 16