dont feel like going to sleep on cum stained matress
too drunk to forget the nonsense
of the man passed out beside me
rolled too many stinky smelling ciggarettes
"I will always love you" plays in the background while i listen to the moans of the mans girlfriend that lies next to me
his best man followed her up her stairs
taking note of the mans condition
and taking advantage of the situation
nothin new to me
something old
something tattered
i'm sitting here pounding my head
"how can i get home from sterling??"
i've allready rode here in the bakc of a pick up truck in 10 degree weather."
"I am sitting in the morning
at the diner on the corner
I am waiting for the man
to pour the coffe
Doo doo doo do do do do doo
And i'm trying not to notice
as she's hiking up her stockings
doo doo doo do doo do do doo"
"Balck hole sun
wont you come
and wash away the rain"
A contest entry
- She Sits On The Underside Of The Umbrella In The Pouring Rain. by LucyLightning.
450 points, ended February 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
commnet please
Comments
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I will have to agree with the comment below mine.
Needs some spell check & some dynamics.
but otherwise, I enjoy the concept. -
Spell check.
I like it but it needs more effort put into it. Not enough visual or feeling.. just like reading out of a text book
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