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Hawaiian Fantasies (A Double Tritina)

As I walked along the beauty of the beach I couldn’t help but think of you
the mere thought of wanting to hold you and kiss you again made me melt
Hawaiian fantasies of us walking together hand in hand along the quiet shore.

Just before dusk I sat down in the soft silky warm white sands of the shore
the sun gently cascading downward and I realize how much I still love you
from the beauty of the sunset and my emotions into the sands my tears melt.

Softly the sun collides into the cerulean blue waters as together they melt
the tide comes in as the rippling waves come rushing up on to the shore
how desperately my heart would have loved sharing this moment with you.

Hawaiian fantasies of you and I as our hearts melt together on the dark shore.


The strong scent of fresh plumeria and jasmine fills the evening air
the stars almost wistfully romantic as they twinkle in the tropical night
warm waters of the ocean rise on the sand and around my ankles embrace.

The moon glistens off the pitch black waters its magical how they embrace
the islanders sing and dance with merriment, their laughter fills the air
as bright flames from the tiki torches dance across the darkness of the night.

Lost in the perfection of nature my thoughts turn to you on this beautiful night
I think of you sitting here with me in the white sands locked in a lover's embrace
the soft sounds of the words I love you whispered to each other in the air.

Hawaiian fantasies linger in the air of spending this night in your embrace.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    May 21, 2008

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    Thank you for your entry

    Beautiful, the ones we love never escape our thoughts though they may no longer be there we always want them and think of them, thinking of how it would be if they were there. Lots of great imagery, with the sands melting into the ocean and the ebbing and flowing of the tides. I could almost picture Hawaii.

    I think longer lines really work well with this form and I like the refrain carried on through both tritinas. I also like that you didn't just repeat the three words in the last line in sucession. Good flow and structure.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 1, 2008

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    Powerful...thanks for your entry into my contest and good lucklol


  • faderman1959
    February 20, 2008

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    I can totally relate to the emotions in this one. Painful yet beautiful at the same time. Well done!


  • Desire gold member
    February 20, 2008

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    Wow!!

    I have never been to Hawaii but You sure entice one to want to go whether physically or mentally

    Beautiful images and emotions shared~
    Inspires the Spirit to take that much needed vacation

    Happy to see that quill dancing-
    Appreciate Your visit to my work too
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • whits end silver member
    February 17, 2008

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    Great imagery and descriptive words here!! I can feel the pain and deep love that you've experienced.

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 17, 2008

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    the ending/being the stanza before the last line is very strong! don't know if the last sentence works for me - too declarative thanks for sharing regards zaj

1 - 6 of 6