Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Seven years ago

It  never worked for us
But we stayed friends.
We could loan each other money
With trust, a mark of friendship
For both of us, poor and struggling.

He was an actor of minor success,
T.S. Eliot bishops,
Agatha Christie detectives,
Alan Ayckburn,
Always with that rich voice,

Full of expression.

Drunk and phoning late.
That voice made me listen
With pleasure and laughter.

One of the last times
I heard it: shaky
From the hospice bed.
"Whose fault?" he said.

I almost replied
"You smoked too many cigarettes"

Afterwards, I went to the cathedral
To see if prayer would help me.

And remembered my reply.
"Nobody's fault," I said.
The right reply, I thought.
The right reply
To a mis-heard question.

Author notes

The dialogue between the woman and the dying man may be a little obscure.

A contest entry

What do you like best about this piece?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • XxemohatexX
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    not my type of poety keep trying thank you for entering my contest


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    March 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you


    whisper


  • ennovy silver member
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this one touches my heart for its a sad feeling to be friends and have to deal with pending death. I know you have penned a very realistic write......novy


  • onesugar gold member
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I wasn't thinking of someone dying as I read it, until I got to the end.
    It brought to mind a couple who had split from a long term relationship, but had remained friends.
    All the best
    ~sugar~


  • Co-Co-Cola
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    One of the best on this site. Despite what others think, I believe it's difficult to strip down a whole story and write it as a poem. And I applaud you for doing such a good job on this. I love your indirect referrence to humanism.
    "Drunk and phoning late"
    It made me smile a bit. I felt that realistic flaw within and I liked it very much.



    However, it's not what I wanted. But it's still a very beautiful poem.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ohh that was sad! Not obscure at all.. really told the story! Written so well!!


  • LanguishedLad
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Thankyou for entering this contest and all the best in it. I really enjoyed this piece keep up the good writing.

1 - 7 of 7