High rises rise high into the air
smog belches out from factories;
haze can be seen for miles away,
noise pollution high on richter scale,
traffic jams found hourly all over.
Not my cup of tea, but could happen here;
we've got a Tim Hortons, a Wall-Mart,
even a Canadian Tire store on the highway now.
Looks like business is booming here;
another four thousand people and we'll be a city too.
Lucky us.
Author notes
Prompt: Urbanized
A contest entry
- 10 entries. 10-20 lines. Prompts. by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended February 18, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Excellent
Being in an urban area--Irelate to this --very well structured and versed! congratulations on the hm.
Please read--> http://allpoetry.com/poem/3868779
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8.1
I like the idea, but I think you could have used the image to symbolize something else...which is definitely possible, because I use images similar to this one in my poetry all the time. For what you have here though, good description.
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It's sad to see any part of Canada 'progress'. I grew up in BC and used to hear Americans on tv say that they loved Vancouver for the clean air. They don't say that now, and the beach in White Rock, BC apparently has no wildlife left, the trees are all cut down. Now Ottawa, where I live, has smog alerts every summer. I don't blame you for being afraid of this, and you're right, lucky us.
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Very Good
Good luck in the contest. Very well written. I'd hate to live in a city as well. Thanks for sharing.
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Few descriptions worked here, others didn't.It lacked poetic devices, but other than that good.Best of luck
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