Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Final Berth

Missing image

 

 

The Final Berth



No longer rigged with canvas sail,
now left to rot your closing tale.

Battled storms and many a squall,
a sailing ship with masts so tall.

Surprising treasures in your hold,
piracy tales that were never told.

Mighty oceans, a tiny yawl,
a sailing ship with masts so tall.

The ghosts of long forgotten tars
still walk the deck and leave their scars.

The final berth by harbour wall,
A sailing ship with masts so tall.

No longer rigged with canvas sail,
a sailing ship with masts so tall.

 

 

 


 

Author notes

Kyrielle Sonnet:
A Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet). Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme
for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be:
AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • DogFish silver member
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    Love the sailing ships! Lovely, longing piece!

  • ecrivain01 silver member
    July 19
    Edit | Reply

    Nice photo ...

    thanks for entering.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    Great form you used here. Loved the picture. Nearly went for a ride on the Blue Nose la few summers ago in Lunnenburg, N.S. but it rained and the trip was cancelled. Would love to feel how it felt back then riding one of these wonderful ships. COngratulations on taking gold.

  • Amera gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Well! I see why this won gold my friend. I love the Kyrielle Sonnet and this is one of the best I have seen. So well penned in meter and flow abd the image is a pure delight. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera


  • TheElf gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    A beautifully constructed poem - a new form to me as well - that captures an image of life on a sailing ship on the high seas. The rhytm, meter and rhyme are excellent.

    I like the picture of the tiny yawl out on the ocean.

    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • arafura
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    Reads good to me my friend! Good luck in the contest!


  • MyAngelsGuardian
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    LOL see I know nothing about the different types of peotry. I just write what I feel/think and let others judge as they may. I cant grade it on the type of poem but I can say I like it and I enjoied reading it as I usually do with your poetry.


  • Legend silver member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful piece I do so like this form I like the way the final couplet is the use of lines 1&4 of first Quatrain It is a fine way to link everything together.
    it is very rare that i select any given lines as i think it tends to demote the rest of the work. But i love the lines

    The ghost of long forgotten tars
    Still walk the deck and leave their scars,

    it adds age to the piece. so just this time i will say it.

    Excellent Good luck in the contest

  • Bad Bill
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    I've never heard of a kyrielle sonnet before (who invented this particular hybrid?), but I must say I like your example very much. The flow and rhyming work well and the content is fine.

    Bill

  • chiefmac
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely work. The rhyme works so well and creates harmony in the flow. The description carry the reader back in time to walk decks of forgotten adventure. Good luck in the contest

    . Rewarded 4

  • blessedbeyondbelief
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this piece. Actually made me smile as I reflected the life of a sailing ship. Keep up the good work, many blessings to you.

    . Rewarded 4


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Excellent Sue---I like the way you used the same line to end each stanza--It ties everything together!
    You Know What???--I've never written so much in my life until I joined AP!!!

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    fine 'KYRIELLE SONNET' great rhyme scheme noticed your proper use of navy 'tars' great ending regards zaj

  • Patpowersnoshoepoet gold member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent work Sue!

    Well crafted work of poetry here Sue! Your words paid tribute to a ship that has sailed the high seas and now retired after devoted service. My best to you in this contest! THANKS!


  • Gwenevere
    February 17

    Edit | Reply

    Well Done

    You are doing so well with all these forms Sue and to boot it is an excellent poem.It is so sad to see these old boats going to ruin.As you say they have so many tales to tell, Ros

    . Rewarded 4


  • cricketjeff gold member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    Nailed it!
    Poetry.
    Wonderful repeating lines, flow that flows like the water past the hull in your ships heyday. the closing pair a hauntingly evocative note.
    Or to put it another way, not bad.

1 - 16 of 16