Lights on in the valleys of darkness,
I stroll in depths of reality.
Another shadow in empty streets
portraying yet a new tearful sky,
singing in unison with my core,
my heart rising to evident sun.
Howling to the moon in my lone soul
I hear the crowds dissociate…
Lights off in the valleys of lovers
where we scream at the top of our lungs
to fight our voice to be heard in time
leaving us silenced in the dark streets.
Surrounded by shadows as mine grows
to understand you were always there…
My fingertips pressed upon your lips
was a dream fading to nothing…
In this dark night
I follow my tears,
forever lost
and gone without trace…
Your soft kiss pressed upon my frail lips…
My loneliness yet drowns these truths.
Fading to nothing…
Unable to say
I love you…
alone…
© Denierim
February 17, 2008
Author notes
It's been months since I last wrote poetry so I have a lot trapped inside of me... I hardly ever write free verse poetry but it seemed fitting at this point. I poured a lot of emotions to this piece (which I do very rarely also) so it became a bit more free than I expected it to become... But you're the judge of that, of course.
Most of my inspiration for this piece came from the song "Via Dolorosa" by abingdon boys school. It's a wonderful song and I suggest everyone listens to it, because the emotions in that song go hand in hand with the emotions of this poem. At least that's what I feel. So, I decided to use the song title as the poem title too.
Via Dolorosa:
1. A difficult course or experience.
2. Jesus's route from Pilate's judgment hall to Calvary.
(http://www.answers.com/topic/via-dolorosa)
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"The Special Ones (Invite Only)" by Snow White
Apart from the song, I used two options you provided for inspiration:
The following picture:
http://aycu19.webshots.com/image/43178/2002328438057406684_rs.jpg
And the quote:
"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself"
Carl Jung
Am not that accustomed to free verse, like stated above, but I hope it fits the contest. Hope you like it too, of course.
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A contest entry
- The Special Ones (Invite Only) by Beating.
600 points, ended February 17, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I love hard critique so give me your best shot! ^_^
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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"Lights off in the valleys of lovers
where we scream at the top of our lungs" --desperate cries ...I love that!
well done....full of deep raw emotions! this is very well written
good luck to you
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Thank you, I'm very glad you like it. I didn't know I had emotions like this in me when I wrote it so I'm glad it turned out ok.
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"...My loneliness yet drowns these truths..."
this line has such truth and emotional energy. title of the work is great. at first, I thought it could be tighter but the meandering quality of the work makes sense ... when I am in this melancholy state, my heart/mind isn't too precise. thanks for this write.
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Honestly, I don't even know what went through my head when I wrote this... lol
I mean, I like this piece myself but still when I read it, it's hard for me to understand I actually did write it. I don't know why that is... Guess it goes that greatly apart from what I usually write. I was hoping for it to be a bit tighter too; now it seems to be all over the place at some parts, but I'm up against a wall because I have no idea what to do with it...
Thanks for your words and the comment; they mean a lot to me!
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you have penned such truth in your words so deep and powerful and yet beautiful aswell. it really gripped me well done
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I'm more than glad that you like this piece that I hold a bit of pride towards. Thank you for your words and the comment; they mean the world to me!
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Here, of a truth, you HAVE communicated. This is an uneasy poem but it deals well with an uncomfortable area, how much is lived and how much invention only the poet knows. A startling poem of beauty and depth.
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I still find this poem strange and am not sure if I'm proud of writing it or not... But it's different, that's for sure... lol
Thanks for your words and the comment; I appreciate them a lot!
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That was one bold and powerful poem!
Thankyou for the fearlessness it took to write this!
Inspiring and so smartly written.
A true feast of a poem!
welldone dearest poet, well done!
Applause-Applause-Applause!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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I'm a bit nervous about the feedback with this one... This isn't the type of poetry I usually write so I'm really eager to find out what people think. But I love trying these new things so I liked writing this one.
Thanks a million for your words and the comment; you know they mean the world to me!
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