I recently viewed a picture
depicting a triangle love
the hero is so lean in physical stature
but acts in every moment in heroic style somehow
He jumps down from high hills
keeps all the innocents, to risky thrills
He swams ocean--- ashore -- with no efforts
and the claps of youth witnessing the shots need no comforts
HEROINE, is just like a doll. No expression, no action, .
I became very dull, no spoon of realism-- surprised my sanction
Author notes
3] A Teaspoon of Realism
A contest entry
- 10 entries. 10-20 lines. Prompts. by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended February 18, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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6.5
Mark said it all, basically. The best advice I can give is to, in the future, show not tell. Good luck.
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The contest specified no rhyming, but even overlooking that this was a bit too simple.Nice ending though.Best of luck
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