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Untruths

the ruined reflections
of estranged emotions
slowly separate
horrified hearts.

aroused apprehension
drawn out with delay;
reluctant replies.

words are woven
from illicit illusions,
wicked whims.

they always lie
when they say they love you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

The mirrored heart

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • xeroabyss II
    August 23, 2008
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    Always....(?)


  • Never Fall in Love
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    NO effin way!
    You're only 16?
    My image of you was that you'd be atleast 18!

    I loved those last two lines - man, such truth in this poem

    Never ♥


  • And Hyetal
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The last two lines were like a "wham!" end to the poem. I also think the background helped loads with the poem, too.

    A well-earned HM.

    ~Cassie


  • Tangled Angle
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    8.4

    This had strong emotion but lacked imagery. Showing is much more powerful than telling. Still, as Mark said, this had a nice flow to it.


  • Ryno
    February 17, 2008

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    Superb... what an emtoinally strong piece & the ending is just too powerfully negative.

    Good luck in the contest [I think we're in the same one!] Ryan

  • Virgoan
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the transgression of thoughts you have in this piece.

    Well done


  • layla.
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    from illicit illusions,
    wicked whims.>>> clever indeed. i love how your words always find a settling conclusion. good luck, kid. wonderful work[hey i know alliteration too. ha ha jk].


  • wakingdevil
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was an intriguing take on the prompt and I have to say that the alliterations were well done with a smooth flow.A bit more fluidity between the lines could do this write good, but other than that a great write.Best of luck in the contest


  • The Chameleon
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    Are you philosophically implying that truth is justified when another feels love for you? I think that the poem is good. It has a certain sense of honesty to it. Sometimes what we need to do is understand that poetry shouldn't be forced. In this poem I feel that you were forcing the issue a little bit. Although, you also made an attempt to understand truth more fully which is good. Truth should be understood. Do you believe that truth should be accepted or denied based on love?

1 - 9 of 9