heat
comes from
your face, your lips
radiation
of ultra-violet
personality performances
running in my mouth
moistening chapped lips
my frozen tongue
thaws
& I am swift, move quick
but looking into those
volcanic eyes
lava boils tastebuds
stories turn into sentences
sentences into words
words into bland alphabet stew
& soup heals every sickness
but Nerve syndrome
{ I need your flavour }
Author notes
So, I'll regret even writing this in the morning, but it was worth a try
A contest entry
- 10 entries. 10-20 lines. Prompts. by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended February 18, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
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Why would you regret writing this in the morning? I don't understand that! Ryan this is amazing... very sensual and (slightly suggestive) but it's beautiful! Loved it! xoxo Meg


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9.4
I really like how you captured the sensual aspect of this. Really clever and concise. I dig it.

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also word of advice, if i were you i would stop dating girls that shot lava from their eyes it never ends well
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LOL thanks for the advice
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i hate soup, stew is more my flavor, but i like it, you did a great job on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest.
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L2 "it" removing it wouldnt change the meaning, but makes it sound better.
"&" - poetically "and" is better and looks less lazy.
Content, as always, is excellent.



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Thanks Laura

Awww I like amperstands
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I got told off for being lazy when I used them and in all honesty, I was being lazy
So, I'm just passing on valuable information
You know me...ever the nurturer
(It's Tyler's fault
)
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We shall bombard Tyler then
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That should be fun
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I've always secretedly want to see him run away from a million verbal explosives
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he wouldn't run, he'd simply muster a million repletives of retaliation and drown us all in word soup
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LOL!
haha
i love you guys. :]
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Good One
As always bro you cease to amaze me with yuor words in poems that requite promts themes ect. hell look who is tlakin I just posted 4 10 worded poems for 4 prompot contests haha but any ways I like this poem alot. it has class style and is really well written. any ways very much enjoyed reaidng this poem and keep up the very nice work good luck with the contest
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niice, kid! "I am swift, move quick" this is cute and weird. good luck. i liked the clever word choice and the alliteration.


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Hehe thank-you Esha
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I enjoyed this piece, it had a nice flow to it with some good metaphors and imagery.A thing that could possibly enhance the write would be the use of punctuation at strategic points, other than that wonderful.Best of luck in the contest


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Thank-you for your comment ... its hard to break old habbits
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This is superb, Ryno.
You have talent... and a good size of it, too.
Who cares if you're not gold? Your name stands out amongst the crowed even w/o the badge.
This is gold worthy, though, and a winner in my eyes.
Excellent penning!
M a r l u x i a
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Awe, why thank-you for the very kind words
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