I can hear them being pounded in, even now.
It's happening before I'm even in it somehow.
Every now and then, someone hammers one in.
Maybe it makes them feel superior within.
I can't help but wonder, how many there will be?
What if it's a metal coffin, this thought just occurs to me?
Do you need nails in a metal box?
Or do they shove you in it, and give it a lock?
Oh well no matter, it sounds like nails.
It's amazing how it all seems so real.
Either way, they're already there you know.
What's going to happen when it's my time to go?
If my coffin is all shut up tight.
How will I get in it, this isn't right.
Now I get it, don't bother to stop.
While you're hammering, just nail me to the top.
Author notes
This is for those times when it seems like everything, and everyone is against you. Especially those that you are so very close to. It feels like being killed slowly. You know, just being pushed one step closer.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I felt the nails hammering inside and penetrating itself forcefully inside as I read althroughout this poem. rhymes were superb... it flowed pretty well... I love this for it is exceptionally deep. I kinda felt hurt or better yet I felt "being killed slowly"
blessed be
-Blanche
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Thanks,
You got the message so clearly, it's like being killed a little at a time, and they don't even care, or notice if you're even there.
Being betrayed, over, and over, and over again. Thanks again, Connie
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Wow, this one went right through me. Can definitely relate to those times when things and people just seem to be going/doing wrong and you just want to shake them and make them realize what they are doing, but can't do it for fear that making yourself vulnerable will make the whole situation worse.
Nice write!!
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Thanks,
I was using an old saying, at least one I have always heard, you know, you're killing me, just put another nail in my coffin. It's a serious topic, with a little of my strange humor mixed in. Connie
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I really liked how you organized this poem and used different images. I felt like I could really relate to both the subject matter and the tone.
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I'm glad you could relate, and appreciate it for what it was. Just a simple statement, that so many can share. Connie
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I'm glad this wasn't actually about a burial because it just doesn't seem as if you're really frightened enough. Of course, I always like a crucifix reference. Secondarily I also enjoyed the basic makeup of the poem. Free verse, but none of that crazy writing that some do. This was simple. Like a confession quitely spoken.
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It's great to know how my point came across so nicely. It's just one of those things I had to say. Connie
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It's kind of funny too, that you notice that they might even be nailing your coffin when your not even in it yet - insult to injury!
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Thanks,
That's the whole simple meaning to this piece of poetry. It is insult to injury, they can't even wait for you. Connie
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very nice write hun. thanks for sharing this keep up the good work.
BabyGirl -
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Thanks,
I'm glad you liked it. Connie
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Very interesting imagery you used here.... I don't know if it worked for your idea... though... It was very interesting.... I don't think i really needed the rhyming.. It seemed to have a natural flow...
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Thanks for reading.
I never really try to rhyme, it just naturally seems to be how I write. I'm glad you like the idea of the piece. It's different, but for me it's about how I feel at the time. Thanks again, Connie.
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i love the first four lines but as it went on you kinda lost me.but i like the idea of what its about.
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It's kind of a play on words.
At the time it seemed like everything, and everyone was out to get me. So It's like a strange way to twist it all around, and accept it all. Yet at the same time, I don't have to like it. Hope that helps a little, Connie.
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