A burned and charred land-
sad memories of fire
will replay through minds
looking at mountains
to only see the product
of human despair
spring returns once more
restoring and renewing
land and hearts combined
Author notes
Instead of seeing burned mountains, I can now see grass! I haven't seen grass on the hills and moutains since early october!
A contest entry
- Infinituple Haiku by Pollycheck.
600 points, ended April 10, 2008, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thank you for entering my haiku contest.
A burned and charred land-
sad memories of fire
will replay through minds
looking at mountains
to only see the product
of human despair
spring returns once more
restoring and renewing
land and hearts combined
This poem is very well written, but it is not really written in the true haiku form. Haiku are to be a snapsot in time and in presnet tense. They are to be written with the use of sense images rather than statements.
This is however a beautifully written poem that paints a wonderful image in the mind of the reader. You are a very talented poet. -
I think this poem could be taken in more then one way. I saw it as being metaphorical for an emotional being. Kinda like seeing a charcoaled land filled with darkness, but then seeing grass for life or hope. Wonderful job!!
I totally stated the obvious didn't I? haha! -
I really love the Haiku form, although I'm not so good at it, maybe someday
This is wonderful, such few, short lines telling a story and painting a vivid picture, making me even more anxious for spring. I can sense the emotion as well.
It sounds like there was a tragedy, but there is renewed hope and healing in the wake of spring, in more ways than one
♥
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Uniquely ascribed...
I love the way healthy hope springs forth, like the greenery long after the heart-felt damage of fire.
Amazingly your story is profoundly competed in it's essence of beauty; wow! You did a great job of this.
Cheers,
~Milly
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very nice. in keeping with the anture theme
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So true ~
I'm from north of Malibu, and your poem touched me ~
I am so glad to see such a Young Poet with a heart of Gold, and not corrupted by what she has to live around outside of a home with loving Parents......love your Motto on your Authors' page :)
Life has taught me to think positive -
Bear ~
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that is the beauty and majesty of spring a new beginning for everything you could say, keep it flowing and it is something to see.
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Oh Tay! This is so beautiful! You understand and compose perfect haiku. This chain is so full of imagery that it's hard to believe that it's a haiku. I am so impressed with your talent.
Love,
Amera (mom)
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Thank you, Mommy.
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This is a wonderful write that reminds me of the Blue Mountains here NSW, Australia, when we have bush fires during Summerit is always so beautiful to watch our land, grass and trees grow again in later months.
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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I seem to think back to them old documentaries mentioning the need to do as you have explained, the strength from the stubble removed is quite fantastic to think about. A miracle how this natural things starts growth!
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