I stare at the shriveled skin
of my fingers
old look made by warm water
yet, a soft feel
like painted wrinkles on young faces
sponge, cloths and bucket
back in their place
cold saturday afternoon’s tools
to create a cosy nest
I stand in the middle of the room
and look around, like an architect
admiring his work
tired as Cinderella - but happy before midnight
work is done, the smell of marseille soap
reminds me of the south
but here there’s no one to share
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Such a perfect telling,
the days work done,
the satisfaction,
feeling like Cinderella---
with no Prince Charming.
Your gift displayed,
the ordinary
made extraordinary
when shared.
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wow
exquisite write; a lovely woman
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This is familiar...
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Cleaning can be very therapeutic, and we often do thins like that when we are angry or want to please someone. Hard when there is no one to share the cleanliness with, after going to all that effort to make it spotless. The scent is always nice too - brings back those other times of scrubbing and sparkling cleanliness.
. Rewarded 6
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Sounds like you had a busy day as I read this! Good job! Thanks for sharing this!
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This is a really cute piece. Great job, keep up the good work. Many blessings to you.
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This evokes memories of cleaning the home. The description carry the reader with the narrator. Reader defines what is clean and those small tasks saved for next time. Lovely trip down a lane so mundane it is over looked until there is no fresh scent must be rekindled. Thanks for the read
. Rewarded 6
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enjoyed this combination smell of 'marseille soap' with 'the south' works well good write thanks for sharing regards zaj
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Ooh, great how you managed to make an allday job into such a poetic artwork the marseille soap reminded me to the moment our cat Ginger got into the washing machine
poor animal 
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wow, i definately know how you feel, in my house i am the youngest and i do most of the cleaning. but actually its not really that i enjoy doing this its just that, i hate being in an unclean place. cant do anything if the room is messy. hmm, its interesting that you wrote about that. very interesting. -eleno
. Rewarded 6
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funny how even in a life so full of things that please us, a wonderful mood and spirit glowing in us...we come back to the empty spots... seems to be the nature of things...i think everyone who reads this will find a reflection...so very well done here...PK
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I'm sorry. I really am.
Some great imagery though, especially in the first stanza.
But it's always sad when we create something and there is no one to appreciate what we have done. Whether it's a clean home, a painting, or a poem that a poor guy writes in obscurity.
Once again you capture that blend of emotions which have become your hallmark...and the final line shifts the real point of the poem.
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This is beautiful, Mari Such a wonderful feel to this! This shows, and not tells... poetry, in the truest sense of the word. Beautiful.
- namita
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this was my day, I swear..Mr. Clean though..LOL
Seriously..I love this..I love sitting down in a clean house after a day of scrubbing..I can't sit when my house is a mess....it is cozy after beautiful mood in this, Mari!
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Wow. o.o
This was really good! I love the metaphors, and I imagined the smoothness of my pruned fingers after working a night over the sink at work and compared it to what a young, wrinkled face must feel like.
Great interpretation and I love the line
"tired as Cinderella - but happy before midnight"
There were no errs in grammar or spelling as far as my eye could see. Great write -- Keep up the good work!
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excellent~
Isn't it wonderful what a good long hot bath will do for ya...especially after a full day of work...
The only disadvantage is what you mentioned...wrinkled
skin...and wrinkled toes...
And no one to share it with...
Need to catch up on yours sis
I was then went down hill again
Beautiful and love the imagery in this one
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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Someone's been in the bath too long...
reminds me the south
Shouldn't that be (of) the south
or if you need to maintain word count could use
takes me (down, back) south
Just got off work so I think I will go get all
wrinkled now too...lol
Have a lovely weekend...
Hugs...Eddy
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of the south, yes. thanks for catching that!
No long baths, cleaning up the house with water
Enjoy your bath and your weekend
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