The good news is the war is over.
Our sons will soon be coming home.
Our daughters, once, sweet, gentle maidens,
now tremble and have eyes that roam.
Master Sergeant turned wife and mother.
Corporal son turned shell shocked dad.
Thank God you’re home, my heart and soul sings
though you are still in misery clad.
The bad news is our military
has had to trim your benefit.
They cannot pay for any counseling
but here’s a wheel chair where you can sit.
And here’s a leg that they will give you.
And here’s an arm, of sorts, to use.
It’s tough all over, your Uncle tells me.
But I already knew that news.
Author notes
They eyes are roaming because the mind is racing
and she can’t hold a thought for long because of
the war’s influence on her mind.
“had to trim”, “cannot pay”, like there was no choice.
We have to have those dams in the desert.
“give you”, like a gift rather than a
thing earned with sweat and blood.
A contest entry
- The Good News And The Bad News by ronnica.
1750 points, ended February 21, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
It's all good.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Hi!
Well. This societal-war reflection gives the reader much to think about. I like how you say it in a way
that troubles the reader, suggesting solution. War, of course, is that racky interlude to which nothing can be done instantly, and its results are trade-offs.
*Suggestions*
The rhyme scheme was a bit up and down. I was trying to see if it was doing some type of iambic meter (AB AB, etc.). It was, however consistent.
Myrataal ( one of my mentors)
alerted me on the vague, yet pertinent, use of
the ellipses ( series of periods....). Here it is to share:
When using the ellipses, it is always THREE only, a space after the word BEFORE, and one after to which the remaining lines follow. Your title could use this as well:
"The Good News Is ..."
Unique view on such a news-driven topic.
as from me ...
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Grim and gritty. The author notes are almost as good as the poem. So true. Much too true. (Points for Truth.)
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This is an excellent poem in dealing with the underlying issues of war and soldiering. The flow was excellent and overall I found it a very compelling piece. Very well written.
Thank you for the comment on my poem by the by
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LOVE IT and i can say that i am all about a revolution and with so many wonderful people out there , like you , writing and helping bring it all to light makes it even better... great write i would not change a thing... thanks for sharing
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Love the raw, biting irony in the second stanza. very powerful.
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Especially powerful for me were "Corporal son turned shell-shocked dad" and "Thank God you're home...though...stll in misery clad." The bad news is not just 'regrettable', but reprehensible. Thank you for the excellent and clarifying author notes.
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War is indeed a horrid thing. It touches so many people
I must admit that I found the 'good news' bad as well, but I guess that's the reality of war isn't it 
Best of luck in this contest 
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Ha!
You shouldn't worry Linda... my poem speaks to America but yours speaks to all nations involved in the conflict. I think you have as good a shot as any!
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I think your bad news is the worst I have read so far
it chokes. even the good news is sad because even when its over it won't be over for many. You got it all wrapped up in a motherly anger and rightly so.
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