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*Façade Of The Storm* {Haiku duo}

Crashing thunder calls
To the bleak sky uncertain
Rain cries hopelessly

Down amongst the streams
Flowing over wanton green
All quietly calm

Author notes


Written November 23rd, 2003

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Daoine
    November 23, 2003
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    Although, I sense a lot of pain within the poems it
    comes around to healing. Rain washes away and cleanses
    even the roughest of days. I love it.
    Daoine


  • imaginatrix922
    November 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely haiku. It runs so smoothly. When I write one, it sounds so choppy, but yours are perfect. Good job.
    ~Chris

  • txtbkpropaganda
    November 23, 2003
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    Randomness: MEWO. Yes, MEWO.

    Hm...you seem to have a gift for writing haikuus. (That's how I spell them in the plural form, because it looks cool! =P) I envy you. Honestly, here. Oh ,well. I've got the waist, and you've got the boobs, and it's the same trade off here. Want to trade your haiku-writing ability for my, er, s3x0r story writing ability? (You know I'm just kidding, right?)

    Anyway. Your haiku duo. I need to talk about that.

    The first couple of lines clearly sets the scene, giving the rain a personality. I had never really thought that rain could scream. But when you think about how hard rain must hit the ground when it falls...well, yeah. You know what I mean.

    And, then, in the second set of lines (the second haiku,) I like how the you contrasted the scenery. This contrast almost makes me wonder as to whether or not you're writing about something other than rain... Ah, well. Who else will know, other than you?

    - -I'm thinking of my Master Bates, oh no. (Mindless Self Indulgence.)- -
    Luvvins//Alise


  • WanderingSpirit
    November 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    these haikus are beautiful. simple, yet powerful...exactly what makes these extraordinary.

    wonderful job

    ~Me

  • Confused Gemini
    November 23, 2003
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    I like this one alot especially because I love storms. All of your haiku's are wonderful and I wish I could write haiku's like you can cause I suck at writing them completely. Great job on this

    Keep up the great writes

    Gem


  • Bluestar
    November 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Scarlett, your haiku's are always so beautiful! and this one is no exception - beautifully worded, and it has a wonderful atmosphere about it, and the mood change rounds it off perfectly

    Wondeful write

    Blue


  • Kalexi
    November 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Scarlett

    These are lovely haiku's

    Storms can be very inspiring

    's
    Karen

    p.s. Happy Thanksgiving

1 - 7 of 7