When to go -
I often ask
as I adjust my smiling mask,
for hope ignores the tell tale signs
that show themselves between the lines
of miss and kiss and we will - soon.
Our song now sounds a wistful tune
that echoes long and plays so sad.
Love didn’t go as wishes had.
Foregoing now I shut a door.
I’m off to seek my new dance floor
on which to turn with one I'll love
who doesn’t speak the language of
lies and pain or cruel deceit -
one who’ll make my waltz replete.
A fond farewell, dear dreamers, all.
An end now comes to this masked ball,
but, should our paths cross yet again,
may we share a dance, my friend?
Author notes
For you EH - your words moved me to express the wish that is in all our hearts.
Written November 23rd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- The Last Hurrah! by .
250 points, ended November 24, 2003, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I liked it....
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excellent
Beautiful write. Such wisdom and feeling in your words. Yes perhaps we have a "Smiling Mask" and go to "Masked Balls" . In life we dance to the music and I suppose do our best.(Even although we stumble.) Well expressed and written,thank you for sharing. -
Awesome
I love it, way to go! Your writing is pretty good. The words spoken with such passion in it, I could not stand and say no. Please continue writing and have a good day! -
great read ......... nice slant on your subject . reading it . i realised it was for a comp and you won ! great work you deserve it
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ohhhhhhhh
Wowwwwwwwwww, how cool can this be? I loved it, I just sunk in to it. This was great, the subject was extraordinary. The structure is simple and that got my attention. I love the rhymes you put in to this poem. This is so nice. You have a nie way with words. If someone would ask me to dance like that, I could not say NO. Great job, I was amazed, trully amazed. BY the way, come down on my author page and read some of my work please, I'm sure you won't regret it. Oh, I forgot to applaud this poem... -
I really enjoyed the words , the meaning and the flow of this write. Each line complimented the previous one as it magically fell right into place . And the subject ( masquerade balls) even if metaphorically are one of my favorites. Best of luck in this contest
Reenie
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wow !
very beautiful and expressive work
the use of mask, literal and metaphorical , is very well handeled
all in all -amazing work
keep writing more of this stuff -
OUTSTANDING
I fell head over heels in love with this one. A masquerade ball is the perfect setting for a chance meeting and that one special moment when you dance.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
I am looking in the nooks and crannies of my favs- I have just been staring into Leanne Wales cranny- now it your turn- brace yourself!
This is wonderful and the reason I love old crannies!
with one I'll love
Who doesn’t speak the language of
Lies and pain or cruel deceit -
One who’ll make my waltz replete
God, that is it in a nutshell. I have bookmarked very few pieces on this site and this is just superb!!!!!!!!
David xxx -
Excellent
my mothers initials are EH and this poem seems something that she should read. Not that in all it applies to her. But she danced with my dad for 25 years and now he is gone. and it saddens me that to think that she will not move on and dance again or dream again that those options have been removed and the mask of widow will be eternally worn by her. And though I do not believe it was the true intent of the poem I do think it applies and I do hope that some how she dances again.
Sorry I went off on another tangent. To say the least this poem has inspired many feelings and thoughts within me. And I again I say that you are an excellent and very gifted writer.
~JayLynn -
like this one
a lot
for me a really good woman’s view
a subject dear to my heart
two face people
p/s my wife says don’t say woman’s view
you’re showing you’re true colors…
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Ah dancing myn soul Loves to dance.
This was enhanced with so much feeling, A great job very well done. A pleasure to read!
" That echoes long and plays so sad "
The Harmony of Heart ache.............
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I like dance, ando poems about it.
You did a great job with this one!
The last four lines are specially nice!
Hugs,
Mari -
dear luckygirl,
many congradulations on stealing the honors! this poem was a deep one, and filled with a profound ...let's see...a good word....earnestness, maybe? it's something i cannot discribe, but it holds some warmth, some rythm in it which is too good for words. when i asked a friend of mine how he liked it, he said, "ay...ah...never ask"................. -
Very good
Congratulations on your win. You deserved it.
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oh damn...this one really hit me in the gut. Thank you very much for this. I can't tell you how I appreciate the words you've penned. I think it was beautiful in feeling and I just love the line: "A fond farewell, dear dreamers, all." This is very much the person I am.
Thank you for this and for entering my contest.
Event
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Silica said it sooner, simpler -
Your touching rhyme is quite exemplar...y. DOH!
(Oh well, good luck anyway!)
-Nando- -
Beautifully done...flows well, rhyming is great and the poem is written with a wistful tone of things that might have been. I loved the ending. Irene
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I love this. It says what I have felt so many times in my life. There's been a lot of good-bye-ing (and a good share of hello-ing). Just lovely.
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A nicely flowing, and endearing rhyme..Almost wistful. But it's a beautiful, if not slightly mysterious, rhyme.
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Very nice. Sometimes things just go so wrong you gotta seek out a whole new dive.
Wait, that's MY old life...I like that tender ending, the mention of a masked ball.
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A flawless rhyme, very well written! With a very gentle but heartfelt message – good luck!
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