A holy pilgrimage to undertake
we go by car or bus, or even train
Some people walk until their bodies ache
some others, for advantage, use the plane
To go from A to B, we leave a place
and join another one, with hope in mind
that at the end of path through time and space
it’s happiness that finally we’ll find
Yet there’s no path to walk, no stair to climb
the peace we’re looking for is now and here
To guide our gaze within will take no time
if we don’t let mind’s judgment interfere
So if you are exhausted, need to rest
Be happy here and now – forget the quest
Author notes
option 1 : about the famous question about "the quest" and our fruitless strife for peace "out there" ...
In a list
A contest entry
- Invites Only by masterblaster.
1000 points, ended February 21, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
Good choice
I rather enjoyed reading a sonnet, it was a refreshing break from the rest of what I'm used to seeing. This is a very good poem with a good topic, I look forward to reading more -
-
I have become hopelessly addicted to sonnets, I guess ...
so happy that you enjoyed this verse ...
maa
-
-
Ah, maa, you reflect my thoughts,
my frequent advice in a form
so perfect, pleasing to eye and ear.
Bravo!!!
Aesthete
-
Terrific poem. A near flawless entry , both your rhymed poems were. making the gold a very close run thing.
I should hasten to add the flaws aren't in the poems but in how your set fitted together for me.
-
oh! great!
oh! great!
a journey of the soul to new spaces
so alluring and enthusing too
all the best in this contest -
People often hold up my sonnets as being good examples, and equally, some people annotate their poems "English sonnet" when they fail the definition.
Ce sonnet est presque parfait; je le trouve incroyable que l'anglais n'est pas ta langue maternelle!
Un bronze! Félicitations!
-
-
I would be honored if you were willing to point out the flaws in this sonnet, so I may avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future ...
I thank you already for your kindness ...
I appreciate it very much when a "mentor" comes my way to guide me on my path ... often, this role is played by my sister margaret g ... she has saved me more than once from my own ignorance ...
marion -
-
Such "flaws" as there are are hardly worth mentioning, and could be summed up by "you aren't Shakespeare" - but then none of us is Shakespeare.
One or two phrases seem not to be in English idiom, perhaps: "we're using car or bus..." would be said "we go by car or bus", but your phrase is not incorrect grammatically.
The line "some others use the plane, for time to gain" has an uncomfortable internal rhyme - uncomfortable because it sits alone in the poem. You could perhaps have tried something like: "some others, for advantage, take a plane" I don't know - it's only something minor.
BUT, you have everything necessary for a brilliant sonnet - iambic pentameter, a volta in line 9, a resolution in the final couplet! Wonderful!
-
-
thank you ! that was quick ...
you have the eye of an eagle - and I am grateful for your suggestions, since I had "sensed" that those particular lines sounded "weird", but didn't know why ...
I will definitely use your advice and edit the sonnet accordingly ...
merci mille fois !!!
marion -
-
Do so with due care - and please do not take my opinion as definitive.
De rien, ma copine.
Marie
-
-
-
-
-
The peace we are looking is within us. What we need to learn to read it. This is the message I get from your sonnet. True. Quest is only there till we get light.
-
-
even the light is here already, isn't it ?
thank you so much for your most appreciated visit, my dear brother ... I am happy to have you here ...
marion
-
-
A most beautiful and moving peice, laced in wisdom.
I like this alot, it has a depth of imagery to sift and dream upon. Most beautiful.
-
-
how kind of you to stop by and comment ... thank you for the clappies as well ...
marion
-
-
My Precious and beloved Marion ...
You write with such ease ... living water flowing from a sacred fountain. How we can be lost to the moment if we are burdened by the past or the future!
Love you!
Myra
-
-
myra, do you believe in telepathy ? (or synchronicity) ...
look what I have written as a comment in response to a poem by night hope :
"much like a spring finding its way through the rock and surfacing as a cristalline source ... " http://allpoetry.com/poem/3929517
and suddenly I found your "living water flowing from a sacred fountain" - message pop up on top of the page ... if this is not magic ... seems like the universe loves us !!!
I love you, my magical soul-sister !!!
marion
-
-
Hi, lovely, yes I for one should take the advice in this sonnet, a pleasure to read, Di
-
It's seem like an easy thing to live "in the now", but it never is so. This is a beautifully penned piece with a wonderful message. Thank you for sharing this with us
e~
-
now is here
Sonnet that evokes life and its now, that the dreams
and quests are sometimes closer than we think ...
sonnet of our times, modernist...good luck in contest.
-
Wow what a beautiful Sonnet. Yes we need to look inside ourselves for inner peace that is where it lies. Good luck in the contest
-
Loving What Is...A Thousand Names For Joy
When we learn to know Who We Are we dis-cover that We Are Joy... and there is no need to to search or find, just the clarity to shine.
Shine on, bright star !
Rahad
-
Smiles
So true - wasn't it Voltaire who said to look in our own gardens? Yet we have people flying here and there looking for peace and quiet which they could have by being peaceful and quiet! I enjoyed this sonnet and I completely agree. Very nice form as well. Best of luck, sweetheart!
-
What wisdom you've hidden behind this piece. You've gotten my mind to think in a whole new way of the idea of "stopping to smell the roses". Indeed, if we our jaded of life there is always time to rest & for soul searching.
What a stunning sonnet. Best luck to you in the contest! Ryan
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
