Fear not human race, your cries are noted
and I, the god of justice shall show the way
Galvanized by your weakness, I step forward,
to erase wicked deeds and present villains
My righteousness my sword and my brilliance
the lone truth you shall ever need
You may not know it yet, but you made the call
when , willingly, you caste your God and freedom aside
Creating a permanent need to suckle upon the breast
of one like me... The Immortal Revolutionary
By Bob Fox
A contest entry
- come the ones who feel whats not meant to be felt.((WARNING: harsh words are used on this page)) by SignedSinerelyMe.
600 points, ended February 29, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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I actually like your historical poems. They make history seem so much more interesting! Well done
Mylee -
Your words are very thought evoking. To caste our God and freedom aside, would be a very serious mistake.
Good luck in the contest!
Ethereal One
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Hi
And ty so much for the read. But actually it was thrown out of the contest. Seems I upset some on AP with writes
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What an interesting piece!
I love your word choices--powerful imagery!
Great work!
~Pastel
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I just adored the word choice in this piece. ... I mean I seriously can't describe how much this moved me... it was sensual and spiritual and so very beautiful... all around amazing piece, well done and good luck.
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To think my other comment on The Illusionist stated the sword, and here I am reading those lines.
A great thought provoking write that cuts hard
"Creating a permanent need to suckle upon the breast
of one like me... The Immortal Revolutionary"
Brilliant are those above lines
Julie x -
ok dude, totaly didnt need to know your name. nice touch to break the hidded author barrier though.
interesting enough piece. i give it a C+...maybe a C....
could be better. like the background color.
but you piece was kind of...not confusing but not focused. i didnt know what you were trying to say. in the end you come off sounding like you think people should bow to you and not god and like your a communist. if that is how you feel. and thats what you meant. then great. congrats.
but if not. revise. redo. re enter.
.me. -
Very thought provoking really makes one stop and think. Wonderful imagery and emotion. Good luck in the contest my dear friend
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If God can see into the future, he sees all our past and future sins. Then when we are saved by the grace of God, he has already forgiven us for ALL our sins. He know what we have done and will do even before US. That does not leave us to do as we please and not adhere to his ways, but we are forgiven.
I feel many live as miserable Christians and that is why many do not wish to become one. Living with God in our life should make our life blessed, not miserable.
Along the years, many have been shunned for having certain feelings as if we as humans are not allowed to be human. I often wonder why God would give us such feelings and emotions if it is not to be used. Of course, they should be used to honor him too.
I find the whole thing confusing at times or others are used as Satan's vessels to confuse us. I also think he uses the Christians too when they allow it.
If God is my father, I am hoping he will be gentle in his punishment of me. After all, he loves me.
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The fourth stanza alone sent chills and fears up my back!!! You have spoken true words of wisdom here and I hope it makes people stop and think!! Well done and best of luck
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Watch out if your on the wrong side of this God.Strong imagery an amazing flow of brilliance
Very unique well done my friend.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
Tony
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This is wonderful!! It is so true! We delude ourselves by believing that we are aware of the true condition of the state in which we live. We count ourselves intelligent who have seen through the lies of the media and politicians. We inevitably turn to the immortal revolutionary... faceless and yet relatable for all time. This invisible ideology is that shadow that we follow for lack of light. Brilliant concept! Amazing poem.
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Winston
I must say your words bring a smile to my face. My poetry is ofetn hard writes & many either do not understand or do not care for them. Again thanks
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This is really very good...I like the meaning and the direct in your face of the character.
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this 'changes' view/temperament toward the end an somehow it is confusing for the reader? the immortal revolutionary has breasts as in certain french paintings of 'their revolution'? i think this was 'carried' away with the concept AND should have stuck to THE IMMORTAL REVOLUIONARY that we 'traditionally' imagine in our minds thanks for sharing regards zaj
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ooohh, a bit of attitude and herrumph behind it. I agree with some previous comments this is one of your best writes and very effective it is too! Much luck!Will it be a gold?
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I think this is one of your best works here Bob! Amazing what you can do with some words and movement! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST!
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Quite a disturbing and powerful poem, Bob. No pussy-footing here! The idea that our weakness unleashs a god of wrath is really good.
Bill
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Thanks Bill
Always kind of you. It was something I just woke up with in my head lol
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