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I've Found My Bliss

Pure linen sheets pillows of cotton rain
It is calm in night cradle my soul she is
Some say delight only floats in a lover's pools
you may call me stupid ridiculous but it
amuses me when one say they are always
content with their one for I never saw a women
Say she is so well with her man when truly
her head murmurs for all she does is nag
and nag and so have I at times I wanted to be alone
I have found my bliss in the arms of my bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • sense surreal gold member
    November 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this and I feel this too. I used to say this

    Some say delight only floats in a lover's pools
    you may call me stupid ridiculous but it
    amuses me when one say they are always
    content with their one for I never saw a women
    Say she is so well with her man when truly

    I wonder how many woman have question that feeling of bliss...maybe this is just me...

  • Mickie27
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning poetry this was very interesting and engaging to read. A great write that was nicely done... It was awesome how you used word placement at just the right points. Overall a very nice piece of work.


  • Age of Rain
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I loved many of the lines, especially the first. It was beautiful and endearing. My problem was you had sever syntax errors and no punctuation. Most are very easily fixed, such as
    "Pure linen sheets; pillows of cotton rain" That only needs a semi-colon.
    "It is calm in night cradle my soul she is"
    This is more difficult, but still fixable
    'It calm in the night-cradle of my soul'
    or
    'The calming night cradles my soul'
    not sure what direction you were taking.
    I liked this alot, all it needs is a good read through!


  • Rele anmwe
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an exquisite write but you have a lot of mistakes in it as well. Check spell boo boo. Your thoughts flow like a current, swift and gentle


  • spiritualangel
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    content with their one for I never saw a women
    Say she is so well with her man when truly
    her head murmurs for all she does is nag
    and nag and so have I at times I wanted to be alone

    Beautiful. Best of luck.

1 - 5 of 5