You dare ask me who I am?
Take a guess, I know you can;
Am I a voice that's in your head?
Or am I more? Am I a man?
I use your eyes to scheme demise
And plague your mind with empty lies;
For when your tasks ahead arise,
It's your neglegence that I advise;
Call me doubt; call me shame;
Scapegoat me for all your pain;
It's in yourself I entertain
The weaknesses within your brain;
So go ahead and take a stab;
I know you can, just take a jab;
Figure out just who I am;
It's only then you'll take command;
But even then, can you demand
I crumble from your thoughts at hand?
I doubt it so, you understand,
You must fight to reprimand.
I am the fears which keep you from your dreams.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Stunning. And so true. You are very perceptive, I think. How I've longed to say something along these lines to a few people. You've said it very, very well. A superb read.
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I glanced at the comments below out of curiosity, and I was shocked that someone thought the first few lines sounded forced. I didn't at all.
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Thanks for your entry in this month's contest.
Good luck with the winning!
~The INC." -
I think this would be much more apealling without all of the puntuation.
On the lighter side. I had to get to the end to see if my guess was correct. Fears are dream slayers. It's a shame people limit themselves because of fear.
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i agree with the two people below me that your rhyme scheme was cleverly executed. i felt, however, that one or two lines were forced
"You dare ask me who I am?
Take a guess, I know you can;
Am I a voice that's in your head?
Or am I more? Am I a man?"
it almost stopped me from reading the rest of the poem. but i prevailed and it turned out it wasn't as bad as i thought it to be.
good write.
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Normally I don't approve of rhyme schemes because the way people use them can sound so forced. I enjoyed this rhyme scheme, and the content of the poem itself! Your understanding of human nature is clear in a non-self-judgmental way, which is refreshing!
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Oh my goodness! I loved the rhyme scheme. Loved how
swiftly it flowed. And the questions here only add
to its appeal. It's as close to perfection as one can get.
Thanks for sharing.
Keep penning!
~The INC."
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