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This Is Me...

Every line
every etch
Every swirl
every mark
Every sketch
every spot
Every color
every hue.
This is me.

An array artists composed my face
adding depth, sorrow, and joy.
Painted the colors of my soul
melancholy, innocent, blissful,
furious, envious, smitten
Each color blends together
overlapping and succeeding to
diminish the importance of its peers.

This magnum opus
executed and perfected
was too fragile
too pure for the world.
Fear of rejection
criticizing words to bite the soul
produced a shroud
a facade meant to please
all those but the one it covered.

But those colors
too long submerged
swelled and became spasmodic,
especially pride
too long shrouded in the dark
forgotten
fought its away above the rest
to dwell in the back of the mind
whispering invigorating ideas
the break away the lies.

The coherent voice finally wins,
the veil is stripped away!
And now I show you
with no more deceptions,
who I truly am,
a face
made from
a line,
an etch,
a swirl,
a mark,
a sketch,
a spot,
a color,
a hue
all cohering to this magnum opus
my face with its facade.
This is me.

Author notes

Breezie

(4) http://ohparapraxia.deviantart.com/art/Elijah-Wood-76980109

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Revwilliamfoos
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow i felt this to be a powerful write it made me feel the texture keep doing well
    love the rev papa


  • Ryno
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Please don't be despaired; would like to see you next season. Thank-you.

    Ryan


  • Ryno
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Yes

    I thought you should much improvement from the previous round with your phrasing & originality. This proves to me that you can only continue to grow.

    Not to mention your sentiments were luring & enriching.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I enjoyed this one and although simple style, the format and thoughts were engaging and I though overall well executed. good luck


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    No

    I hate to say no because I really enjoyed your piece. I thought the structure was effective (the repeated lists) and that certain phrases were really striking. I especially liked the idea of the colors that had been overlapped vieing for attention and asserting themselves pridefully. Excellently contrived!

    Unfortunately, I thought a couple of the stanzas were just to simple and uninvolved. You told them to me, but I wasnt able to experience them for there wasnt a certain something to draw me in emotionally or with the senses.

    All the best to you. We'll see what the other judges say!


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I really enjoyed your piece. To me, it really came alive, though I think it could have done with a few less adjectives. The imagery here was just... WOW! Well done, and good luck!

    Laura
    xxx


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    February 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    No


  • LlamaLord
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg... you've got no idea...

    THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
    THIS IS GREAT
    I LOVED THIS SOOOOOO MUCH

    srry for the caps




    wow
    im gonna read this one a few more times.
    haha

1 - 8 of 8