Perfection and My Ways

Sometimes I want to go back,
to the life I lived before.
But they've taken that away from me,
I just wish I could live simply.
          I look into the mirror,
          and fear who looks at me.
          I blame the people that made me stop.
          Sometimes I try to trick them.
                      I put these thoughts in simple words
                      because there is no way else to put them.
                      I feel as if I've lost control,
                      and that they're taking who I am.
                                  Success, they say, is hindered,
                                  but what I've tried to do.
                                  But sometimes I just can't see that,
                                  though I am trying to.
                                              I beg myself for a resolve,
                                              because I confuse myself all of the time.
                                              I can't stop falling short of who I want to be.
                                              I fear the future, for my focus is broken.
                                                          I will keep trying to be safe,
                                                          But the weakness in me might persist.
                                                          I will keep working to be perfect, in the ways that I want,
                                                          But perfect is a place that I'll never reach.