I see you there...So tempting is that of your heart beat...
Slowly I came to you as you sleep so sound
I can hear the beat of your heart with every breath
These gentle ruptures of a lullaby elude me to you...
I have seen you...watched you...stalked if you must say...
Dressed in nothing but skin that is drenched by moonlight...
Laying there so sound...such a gentle creature
I come to you...lay by your side...without acknowledgment...you know not that I am there..
I smell you hair with the Ut most ease...taking in every strand...
Soon you are crushed beneath my weight...my angels eyes do bleed red...
Creeping close to the beat of the heart that has called me...
Gripping your throat your pulse hums devour me!
Nails I grabbed from my stockings...a surprise for you my lovely...
As I trace it along your design...I come to you closely....
"Do not fear me my love...I am hear for your pleasure..."
Each nail I pound into you...you become my little voodoo doll
For you have weaved your spell upon me....each spike...drilling closer to death
Oh do not leave me my lovely the fun has just begun
I rip open your throat to paint my sign and I caress in drenched completely of you...
Your heart its slowing...it calls to me...devours me!!!
Each piece of flesh...colored...tempting me...only tasting little nibbling
Your eyes try to close but I nail them open "watch me my lovely..You don't want to miss this" hands caress you...so smooth and liquidly you are...ooh so sweet is the taste...
I lick to my satisfaction...the muscles are toughest I save those...for later tonight...
Every savory piece calls to me...my eyes light with anticipation...
But I am waiting for the best part..."your heart my love..It must be mine"
I have watched you from afar...and you can only be mine!!...
I take out my scalpel from my briefcase of goodies....as I chuckle...
Teasing your skin...with every movement on your chest...
The silver shines through the window...within this moonlight night
Slowly but surely I rip open your chest!!...Your heart it beats to the drum of death...
Enwrapping me within its rhythm...I must have it...taste it...bathe with it...
I rip it out...oh to feel it beat within my hand!! I lick lub dub lub dub...
Your face gazes to me...with a look of horror...oh this sight I shall remember...
Blood is drawn onto us...alike the juices, which make love...
I kiss your lips that are taken from your face...and cherish their flavor...
"Oh my darling finally you are mine...and your heart beats of our love of eternity…deep "inside" me..."
~Jessixa~
Author notes
#3
Written November 22nd, 2003
A contest entry
- Murderous, Gruesome, Sick, Twisted....... by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1600 points, ended June 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sick and Twisted 7 by Acidanthra.
700 points, ended September 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
First of all, blue font on black background can make someone's eyeballs explode.
Next, less love, more gore. That is what this contest is themed around.
You do have a great write, don't get me wrong, but I believe there should be some revisions made. -
O.O
THIS......IS.....A.....FUCKIN MASTERPIECE! I absolutely adore this, it's sick, dark, twisted and makes you want to keep reading. Hey, you should go read my piece: "Love-Like Murder." It's KIND OF similar to this type of thing, very graphic and murderous.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3011300
Anyway, kudos and good luck in the contest
-
-
Lol Ihad before you even told me to do so. It was agreat read
-
-
this is very good!!! keep up the good work!!!
-
Very nice work!
-
Great write!
Good luck in the contest. -
*wanders back to applaud and bookmark now that the contest is over*
~ Lady ~ -
@_@ Yay evilness!! I loved this so much! I can just see an angel hovering over some sleeping guy's bed, by a window, playing with him and cooing soft words to him as his eyes are large and staring lifeless at the ceiling...
Tsk tsk, not good for me to read poems like this! *laughs* This was wonderful, brilliant! I loved the soft, loving evilness and curiosity in the heart and everything...This piece would be PERFECT, if you just edited the minor spelling errors...But "bloody" beautiful...*laughs*
Thank you so much for entering this, and best of luck!
~ Lady ~
P.S. - YES! Finally done reading all entries! Time to judge!
-
"I smell you hair with the Ut most ease" I think utmost is one word.
"my angels eyes do bleed red.." "angel's" needs a comma.
Right now I'm listening to Autumn Leaves (covered by Diana Krall) it was quite funny reading this while listening. Interesting, the vengeful lover... Hmm... smooth.
LoneStar -
Wow that is so creppy!! Good job!! You really gave me just what I asked for, a creppy dark poem. You included love and I just love poems about dark love, its the best!!! YOu have a great talent!!! Good luck in the contest!
Lost in life,
xshadowxgirlx -
Very grotesque, haunting, and simply well done! You have some very interesting and unique imagery in your poem. Thank you for entering and good luck.
-
wow. thats was amazing. it was beautifully written and totally gorey. thats talent! x
-
This was a wonderful write! A good killer always comes prepared, so i'm loving the bag of goodies! Also throught the poem you keep refering to her heart, it kept me wondering. I was glued to this peice! Great job, and good luck! Thanks for entering!
-
Well congratulations, you've just grossed me out completely
But it's good ...that's what this contest's all about. The flow of this poem was relatively nice, but I did happen to find a lot of errors in it as well. There were a few times when I caught you making up words Lol. But, all in all, this was a pretty interesting poem, and certainly original. Thanks for entering.
~Samantha~
-
wow, I really liked this. Darker horror type poems are real fun to read in the dark, especially if the wind is blowing and the house is creeky .;o)
-
Very twisted! Very good!
This is really good. You have a few typos, though.
"gentle ruptures of a lullaby" Did you mean 'raptures'?
"I smell you hair" Did you mean I smell 'your' hair?
"the Ute most ease" Did you mean 'utmost'?
"smooth and liquidie" I don't know if it's a word, you could say liquid-like. Or liquidy. I don't know. Nevermind. lol
This is really great! It really had me on the edge of my seat. The part that really got me was the nailing the eyes. I'm still rubbing my eyes. Ick. Lovely! Keep writin'!
Annie
-
I actually loved this, i laughed at this part "I take out my scalpel from my briefcase of goodies....as I chuckle..." I liked how it was kinda a love and morbid poem.
DJ -
WOW!!! someone is insane and i just love it to death that small fact just sent chills down my spine and made me shiver with fear, god i can just see the ripping flesh and the horrifing death.
greatjob
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
Love
Joyus -
wow! this is amazing, you really have a dark, scary poem here, totally wat i was looking for! i loved every part of it, im totally speechless...somehow it kinda reminded me of jack the ripper...prob cus of the scalpel and stuff, it's a really great poem, you should be proud of yurself...or maybe a little scared, lol, jk, yur have alot of talent, hope you keep writing
thanks for entering and good luck
gina -
I loce this write. Its was so kool and I was glued to teh screen once i started reading it. I never wanted to stop reading it. I jsut wanted it to go on forever..keep writing..Rachal
-
*gasp*! Ahh this is marvelous darling! lol I absolutely adore this write... I too expected a vamp story.. oh how I adore vampires... but this is even better! Gotta luv it Best of luck and thanks for entering!
~Amy
-
Hmm, very interesting and gruesome.. I likes *evil laughter* This was quite powerful, in many ways. I love the idea of the poem, the fact that you were going to all measures to cherish their love.. and love comes from the heart, does it not?
I love how you described the blood mixing.. Very interesting. LOL on William's comment.. Made me laugh a bit.
There were a few typos, but I'm not very judgemental, it didn't ruin the poem so it's fine. I like the exclamation points, quotations.. etc. It gave me an easier way to say it out loud while I was reading it.. And that was good. This was a very interesting write..
Good luck!
Ho||oW -
dude i am freaked out now....i'm gonna have to sleep with the light on tonight.....if i sleep.....that just shows how good this poem is....i think you did an excellent job cuz it freaked the hell outta me!!!! good job and good luck in the contest!!
~kat~ -
How gruesome..I LOVE IT. Wow. Good luck. May the best poet win *salute*
-
Wow...
very veerry ahem.. interesting.
I liked the mysterious freaky vibe thing goin' on there..but uh.. this scares me much..um.. anyways, yeah this reminds me of a story of a love-sick stricken person who would do anything to gain one's heart. Good job. -
This poem is..wow.It seriously had me at the edge of my seat. Very freaky and great job. But I am afraid you didnt enter what I told all entries to into the Authors note. I will give you a day or two to get it in there. Great job and good luck in the contest.
-
Terrifc
wow. This is really good. Its intense, powerful, n just wow, amazing. Heart was pounding,
"But I am waiting for the best part..."your heart my love..It must be mine"
I have watched you from afar...and you can only be mine!!...
I take out my scalpel from my briefcase of goodies....as I chuckle...
Teasing your skin...with every movement on your chest...
The silver shines through the window...within this moonlight night
Slowly but surely I rip open your chest!!...Your heart it beats to the drum of death..."
that part I think was the most powerful, great job
Steph
-
Excellent work , thanks fro sharing !!!!
I agree with Mary Ann very intense !! Very well written with much passion and a great read for me ..
"I lick to my satisfaction...the muscles are toughest I save those...for later tonight...
Every savory piece calls to me...my eyes light with anticipation...
But I am waiting for the best part..."your heart my love..It must be mine"
Wow !!! Powerful words in the silhouette of dark passion ,Great job.. ~Skinwalker -
THE FONT for "your heart calls to me..." is now changed so if you'd like to read please do so...thanx
~JEssicA~ -
want to read...can't read poem....you must....change color....of text.....
-
Damn Jessica...this is different for you! I did expect a vamp write... oooooheeeeeeeee...Nope. Pretty intense and very well done! Certainly pulled me into the pulse of that heart that beckoned you so.
Great job... and good luck!
hugs..
Mary Ann -
Take another little piece of my heart now baby...you know you got it...arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryeaahhhhh.....silence in the center of a chest...with a fist sized hole and some dribbles that were bitten off and fell back into the cavity of what once was life...consumed by a passion to literally eat the other person to become one with them......I have tried this in southern regions about a foot or so below the heart...and usually left everything in place.....for the next feast...lol...good stuff....just the right amount of gore and morbidity as well as fascination...Artis
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
