As I'm Fading

As I fade away
As my end gets near
I can see her there
And I tremble in fear
For what I've made and done
Just to be that blessed one
But I cursed it all
Thus my end begun

I can't save myself
I can't cry for help
I stay paralyzed
As my essence melts
I could run away
Yet I chose to stay
Wish I was never born
Yet I'm anyway

As I get to her
She smiles and beacons to me
I know not what to do
My will is no longer free
Standing immobilized
Involuntary tears
I gasp for air
My end is getting near

I can't save myself
I can't cry for help
I stay paralyzed
As my essence melts
I could run away
Yet I chose to stay
Wish I was never born
Yet I'm anyway

I curse my past
My doings
All evil in me
It won't last
What's upon me
I know I'll never be free
You torment me
Suffocate me
Yet I cannot leave you
My mind has betrayed me
There is nothing I can do

I had been saved
Not once not twice but thrice
Now I crossed the line
Even miracles come with price
As I near my death
My past comes near and says
"Till time's end
Hell is where you'll stay!"

I can't save myself
I can't cry for help
I stay paralyzed
As my essence melts
I could run away
Yet I chose to stay
Wish I was never born
Yet I'm anyway