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Talk Less Or Else





Acerbic tongues
come to naught,
I

knew

one;


under
an oath of silence

died
of asphyxiation...






Author notes

Prompt: Asphyxiation (suffocation)
I have argued about its(poem) structure for a long time and I am totally spent, so I am not going to bother with changing it cause I have run out of energy. Hope you get what it means!! Better do!
Enjoy!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Brit-Girl
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    interesting,
    i think the short length definitely takes away from the potential of this piece but what you have here is nice.
    good writing and write on!


    • Fourthaxis
      August 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      That's the whole point! It's supposed to be a witty thought in 16 words!


  • Celticmoon
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a rather interesting piece. I can say that it left my mind to stop and think for a moment and that is something I enjoy very much. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you.

    Blessings
    Bel


  • Pollycheck
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you entering my short poems contest. I think that this write is just pure genius. You can be proud of this one.


  • B Chandler
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Im really torn about my feelings towards this entry in such a way that although I like the feel of it overall, the structure of it throws me off a bit

    • Fourthaxis
      May 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmm... can see how that could happen. It's definitely different in its structure. No worries. Read another poem of mine then !!! LOL
      Peace...


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, truly a great piece. I wouldn't alter anything about it to be honest with you. Very strong.

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good piece, you have used the 16 words well, good job

    Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, wishing you the best of luck

    Karen


  • Kelli Marie
    February 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Asphyxiation is the word of the day I think. You did a great job with the prompt you chose. I hope you do well in the contest.
    Kelli

1 - 11 of 11