What of the ancient people?
Who lived beside the sea.
Collecting all the shellfish
Dancing, singing, free.
Leaving muddy footprints
sunk upon the sands.
Their prayers forgotten moments
traces on the land.
What of the ancient people
who lived beside the sea?
Did they wander off to nowhere?
Or are they you and me?
Author notes
Shattered Dreams, by Pappacass
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Very Best!!!!!--contestant vote by TabbyCat.
600 points, ended May 8, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - " PREWRITES ONLY" by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended June 7, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme your greenies by crazymomma.
300 points, ended August 11, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The AHA moment by jamesbliss.
550 points, ended December 14, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wow, really got me thinking. Fantastic last line, and a flawless aha moment!
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The title grabs the reader's attention and you don't disappoint them. I get a real kick out poems that make people think about life and things. This poem does that and more.
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A very thought provoking write with nice rhyme and flow. Thanks for entering and good luck
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This is an awesome poem. All the questions make one think. I love the rhyming too. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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Short, but really good. The rhyming was very nice and all the words were well-used and evocative. The only tiny nitpick I had was in the second to last line. There seems to be an extra syllable in there. It skews the cadence. I liked what the line was saying, despite that.
Still Anonymous
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A very well written piece and yew you just maybe wright It could just be us.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
The rhyme on this poem was very nice. I especially like the last four lines. They are very thought-provoking. Congrats on the HM. Very nice poem you have written here, an enjoyable and pleasent read!
Keep on Writing,
~ Bright Smyles
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Nicely written...wonderful tone and feel to your words...nice flow and meter...very soft and enjoyable...
Best to you! -
i liked this
the rhyme was pleasant and you asked a huge question in a quaint way 
best of luck in the contest
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I forgot to applaud you! Boy, am I a dunce!
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"What of the ancient people?
Who lived beside the sea.
Collecting all the shellfish
Dancing, singing, free."
Those lines? Right there? Awesome. Epic. Pure Sweetness.
I think you deserve the Gold for TabbyJoy's contest.
I loved the way you used repetition in the first few and last few lines. Not only that, I liked how every other line rhymed.
Anyway, very nic- You know what? It was amazing.
So, very amazing poem and I hope you win the gold! -
A most enjoyable read.We seem to have lost all that these ancients had.Love of the land, seasons,and the ability to just be grateful for all that life and nature has to offer
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I really like this poem. I think I've commented before. I think though it might flow perfect if you changed it to "'upon'the sand". Nice plot.
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Nice flowing rhyme in this piece. A haunting message. Thought provoking. Thanks for entering.
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Great question, good poem, very nicely done.
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Very interesting poem. I like the idea that people haven't really changed.
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No much has changed except technology!! There is nothing new under the sun. Great write and interesting premise. Good luck!
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MY you really got me questioning that myself now! That was good, it really makes sense. Thank you for sharing! ~~Shannon~~
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this is great,,yes they are us,, you and me hugs peter
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What a wonderful work of poetic movement,expression and visual words! I enjoyed this one! BRILLIANT!!
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Love it
I find a pattern in your poems. They seem to be simply "nice" and "good" until you hit that last line. You always wind up to it perfectly with the line before, denoting something different without overexciting the end. Each of your poems is short and sweet, as is this one, and they tend to utilize a unique but effective tool that causes us to read the poem one way, then see the entire thing in a whole new light just by reaching the last line. I simply love how all your poems are "good" until I reach the last line, at which my eyes are opened and I frantically reread the poem in a completely enlightened perspective. It's utterly inspiring to say the very least.
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It's really interesting to think about ancient human history, and I've found it on my mind a lot recently so this is rather well timed for me. It's great. *smile*
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Very interesting! This made me think a little bit. I love writes like these. Great job!
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Liked the ending to this - could those people way back then be the people of today as well? Liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme of the lines as well.
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Beautifully written. Love the rhythm and rhyme from beginning to end. It reads so easy. I think you have done a great job.
Kelli
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