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Anniversary


Two hearts embroidered in eternity
Knitted with a very powerful cord,
A needlework destined to be adored;
A portrait of true love’s identity.

With an intricate sketch of unity
Love is bonded and strengthened by God’s Word,
Two hearts embroidered in eternity
Knitted with a very powerful cord.

A well-crafted piece out of purity;
An art carefully carved by the life’s sword,
This is our love blessed by the Mighty Lord
The main reason for our festivity –
Two hearts embroidered in eternity!

Author notes

Happy Anniversary!

Rondel - A French form consisting of 13 lines: two quatrains and a quintet, rhyming as follows:
ABba abAB abbaA. The capital letters are the refrains, or repeats.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • scentedrose
    March 24, 2008

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    Very Very Good

    pick either bonded or strengthened but not both.
    you're giving the impression that you flashing off your knowledge rather than sharing.

    I think the contest was to be about the first year of marriage, you may have lost the point in here.
    You keep talking of eternity, yes that's marriage but all that eternity and Mighty God stuff is making one year of marriage sound rather old.

    Don't think I'm knocking God cause I'm not, just saying your poem sounds like it should have been written for an elderly couple.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    March 4, 2008

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    Very nice and so very true

    Love is an ever learning process which we all truly earn in a lifetime . If not worked at daily love often fades leaving the family unity broken and thus empty.Yet to give love everyday of your life secures that stitching and strengthens it for all about them . Never let a day pass without showing love and you will never have a day of sorrow


  • ShelleyA gold member
    February 15, 2008

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    A beautiful write. Heartfelt. Lovely depth of feeling. Very nice metaphor. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, alliteration and nice assonance. Well penned and much enjoyed. Best wishes in the contest.