Questioned your thoughts
That glare
Red lights
I'm a threat
Blond wig over
H y s t e r i a
Somethings wrong
Why don't you fix it
That stare
Your heart
A spark
You never were good,
at the follow through
Where is the fire?
If it drips
Its not quite bleeding
Is it?
Question your reality
Why would we?
Black lights
That look
Lets give into death
Question your thoughts
That glare
Red lights
I'm a threat
Author notes
Lines 11 and 14 are newly added.
Background art by me.
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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this is great
a fantastic write to say the least
i enjoyed it.
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its not simple.
but its not too complex
good write.
i like it -
i love the concept and the kind of choppyness of the language. i must say though the background art is out of this world
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Me Likes!
I think you're implying that you're a threat because you question, because you doubt. I personally found the line "Blond wig over" quite funny for some reason and it threw me off. Do you mean, as in, Dumb Blonde? Anyways, i love this poem for also encouraging a questioning of reality. That's simply not done enough.
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AWESOME
I don't know why, but all I see is your words, no background. But, I don't even need to see the background, for I adore your write. Deep thinker, aren't ya!!
*******************POETDONTKNOWIT***********88
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very nice and wicked background... 100 points from me ^.^
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Lovely
This is one of those poems that gives just enough so the reader can relate and aply it to themselves, give it meaning to their own life. Yet holding back just enough so we don't really know the paths of mind that brought it to being.
Basicly, I have no idea what you are talking about yet I understand it completly as if it sprung from my life not yours.
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wow that was the best ive read today. Freakin' awesome, i really got the feeling... <3
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Hmm, wow. I love the background you chose to go with it; it fits perfectly. I really like how it goes so quickly, and yet it makes you think and wonder so much, in a good way (if that makes any sense). Wonderful imagery. It sort of has a nurotic feeling to it, but that works in the poems favor. Very awsome writing, keep up the fantastic work!
xx
V/E
. Rewarded 6
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glad you liked the background for this piece because I made it!!! Thanks so much for your comment!
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I like the stream-of-thought style... short little bits of line that flows very well. I thought that it was a great idea to emphasize the word "hysteria" and overall this poem is very-well written. Slightly random in it's style, but I think that adds power to the poem and works in its favor.
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i really like the quickness, it feels like a poem that would convey joy with its short little lines, but of course it does not obviously, great imagery as well
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I like how it seems to start at one particular thought, then move through a bevy of them, just to return to that original thought, introducing another load of questions about how that thought came about, whilst explaining it enough to get a rather rough, unformed idea of exactly what happened. Nice.
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bravo
this poem a a terrific and most potent cadence throughout...fine poetic phrasings... loved it, loved it ... bravo... bravo... bravo...
. Rewarded 4
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It is a little hard to follow but all in all I like it. Good write
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Its kinda random I would say, jumping from topic to topic line after line. It has an interesting effect though.
How you spaced Hysteria really gave it a kick, something that draws your eyes - and has power. In one word.
~Nice write
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this is really cool.
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