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A Gift to My Lover

I am born, a budding Iris, in a field of daisies,

an ocean of life: ashened white, and golden yellow,

swaying gently in the wind, of singing cello,

stems: of pristine emerald green, in such vivacity,


A cloud of descending white, do they mingle as one,

infinitely, do their hues run, endlessly alive,

solitary, amethyst pedals – I do so, survive,

failing to blend, my sisters become ignorant,


I fight for enthusiasm of life, my dear,

the sun, an amber light in the expanding sky,

breaths heat onto my fair neighbors as I imply,

frozen stem, beneath my wholly deprived wilting bud,


For it has not, encompassed a flower, for days on end,

life has been forgotten, the meaning so blurred,

gray death, a powder upon my pedals so obscured,

what breath of life, shall come, and whisk away this evil?


A difference, another bud: has been born,

a single orchid against my deadening side,

one of deep color, and deeper inset pride,

honor to live, through all of this indistinguishable life,


Your stem, of rich greens and birth of elegant leaves,

tightly entwined around mine, supporting my head,

reading my heart: as one that has bled,

velvety pedals, brushing my soul; with warming light,


Together we live, our lives in a field of daises,

an Iris of deep violet, alone no more,

with my love, the Obsidian Orchid, his touch – I adore,

in unity: our love shall support one and other: until infinity.

Author notes

The night before Valentines day. I sat down, and decided that my love was writing me a poem ~ He shall get one too.

This took me about an hour to write, and I'm happy with it... But, I see more potential in it. (That if I took longer on it... It would be better...)

In a list

Just let the imagery flow through your mind....

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • James Dean
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Perhaps. But your colour play was enviable and you stuck well to the flower theme. Not to mention that you did a wonderful job of personifying both yourself and him. I would however just cut out a little bit about the daisies. They are very much in the first half of the poem but not in the second so it feels like it's just been cut off you know? However, i think that writing is the very best gift to give. I wonder about the capitalisations. Are we doing that to promote ideas or as a bow of the head to Emily D.?


  • Metaphorist
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For only having taken you an hour, this is pretty amazing. I like the flower metaphor you used and likened yourself to an iris that doesn't fit in a field of daises and your lover an orchid that gives you the love to accept yourself. Great stuff!